Joke I heard....

[RRFireblade]

 

After his round of golf this guy heads back to the club house. There, he sees a beautiful, blonde, gorgeous woman, and naturally, he heads over to flirt with her. They hit it off, and decide to play a round together.

He is doing his best to impress, but she cleans his clock, winning by 9 strokes. Embarrassed, his manhood in question, she can tell he is hurt. But, she thinks he's sexy, so she suggests they go to the parking lot for a good ol' romp in the backseat of his car. Needless to say, he enjoys himself and asks her to play golf tomorrow!

She accepts, and every day that week, they play, she wins by a large amount, and afterwords he gets some next level action in his car. Though quite happy with the way things are going, he decides that he wants to seal the deal, and he invites her to his place for a romantic Saturday night dinner.

She shows up dressed to the 9s, the candles are lit, the steak is ready. They sit down to eat and a moment before his first bite she abruptly drops her silverware and exclaims, "I can't do this anymore! I have to tell you something!"

Trying to comfort her, he says "Of course, you can tell me anything!" To which she replies, "I'm actually a MAN!"

His anger burns hotter than the sun, and he screams back, "God damn it! You've been hitting from the Ladies tees all week!"

[Benco]

Cute

[Graymulligan]

This joke always confuses me...wouldnt he notice in the back seat?

[Vintage1976]

[quote name='Graymulligan' timestamp='1441679392' post='12278710']
This joke always confuses me...wouldnt he notice in the back seat?
[/quote]

Maybe they got in the car and used the....



no, I can't say it.

[RRFireblade]

[quote name='Graymulligan' timestamp='1441679392' post='12278710']
This joke always confuses me...wouldnt he notice in the back seat?
[/quote]

Obviously "she's" a giver.

[thug the bunny]

There's always the butt.....

Which reminds me of a real moment from the old 'Newlyweds' game. Bob Barker asks the new wife, "where was the strangest place you guys ever made love?". She thinks for a second, and says, "That would have to be the butt, Bob."

[Smash Factors]

[quote name='Graymulligan' timestamp='1441679392' post='12278710']
This joke always confuses me...wouldnt he notice in the back seat?
[/quote]

True. The joke needs to be rewritten.

[PZero]

Bruce Jenner jokes are always funny.

[DT15]

I've heard this joke in a similar fashion, but ends the same. Work a little better though:

Older couple heads to the first tee one Saturday morning. Husband gets out of the cart and looks at his loving wife of 30 years.
He says, "honey, there is something I need to tell you. I had an affair with your best friend 20 years ago. The kids were young, we had grown apart, and I made a mistake."
His wife answers, "you know, I always knew something had happened. I know your love for me has always been there and I forgave you a long time ago."
Husband feeling a weight lifted hits the best drive of his life.
They get into the cart, drive up to the red tees:
Wife gets out and says. "you know what dear, there is something I have been wanting to tell you too. I was born a man... I always knew I was a girl on the inside and had the change at a very young age."
The man gets out of his cart yelling and screaming. Throws his clubs, kicks the cart. Finally he yells "All this time you have been teeing off from the red tees!!!???"

[360_CS]

Had a good laugh.

[quote name='Graymulligan' timestamp='1441679392' post='12278710']
This joke always confuses me...wouldnt he notice in the back seat?
[/quote]

I thought when you have a sex change they change the parts too?

[Ruddy]

[quote name='RRFireblade' timestamp='1441674900' post='12278266'] After his round of golf this guy heads back to the club house. There, he sees a beautiful, blonde, gorgeous woman, and naturally, he heads over to flirt with her. They hit it off, and decide to play a round together. He is doing his best to impress, but she cleans his clock, winning by 9 strokes. Embarrassed, his manhood in question, she can tell he is hurt. But, she thinks he's sexy, so she suggests they go to the parking lot for a good ol' romp in the backseat of his car. Needless to say, he enjoys himself and asks her to play golf tomorrow! She accepts, and every day that week, they play, she wins by a large amount, and afterwords he gets some next level action in his car. Though quite happy with the way things are going, he decides that he wants to seal the deal, and he invites her to his place for a romantic Saturday night dinner. She shows up dressed to the 9s, the candles are lit, the steak is ready. They sit down to eat and a moment before his first bite she abruptly drops her silverware and exclaims, "I can't do this anymore! I have to tell you something!" Trying to comfort her, he says "Of course, you can tell me anything!" To which she replies, "I'm actually a MAN!" His anger burns hotter than the sun, and he screams back, "God damn it! You've been hitting from the Ladies tees all week!" [/quote]
This is about the third time we heard this.

[Edaw68]

http://www.golfdigest.com/story/caitlyn-jenner-plays-from-the-womens-tees-but-she-can-beat-you-from-anywhere-on-the-golf-course

[gdegde]

[quote name='Edaw68' timestamp='1441907208' post='12294356']
[url="http://www.golfdigest.com/story/caitlyn-jenner-plays-from-the-womens-tees-but-she-can-beat-you-from-anywhere-on-the-golf-course"]http://www.golfdiges...the-golf-course[/url]
[/quote]
I can't decide which is more awesome:

the timeliness of the article to the post

or

the appropriateness of your avatar to the article.

[BubbaBeene]

Well apparently he likes men then.

[BrOhioGolfer216]

[quote name='BubbaBeene' timestamp='1441918645' post='12295450']
Well apparently he likes men then.
[/quote]

Yeah be cause he probably gets to golf a lot more

[thug the bunny]

Media attention for an individual and entire family that has no other skills or talents to make a living. And they say receiving welfare is leeching off of society. What has any member of the Kardashian family ever given back to society to justify their millions???

[PZero]

[quote name='thug the bunny' timestamp='1441940029' post='12297398']
Media attention for an individual and entire family that has no other skills or talents to make a living. And they say receiving welfare is leeching off of society. What has any member of the Kardashian family ever given back to society to justify their millions???
[/quote]

You can blame Ryan Seacrest for pushing them on America.

[Golf64]

Husband & wife were playing golf one day. Wife was kicking his a$$ on the score card. He couldn't take it anymore and teed up a ball while she was on the ladies tees bent over teeing up her ball. He let'r rip and hit her on the back of the head and killed her. Cops, course owner, other players formed a crowd around the woman's body. Cop asked the man what happened. He said, '' looks like she got hit in the head by a golfball'?! Cop said, 'I see that, but there is another ball lodged up her a$$''?! The husband replied, ''Oh, that was my mulligan''!

[Fairway Robbery]

Jerry and Bob were lifelong friends and kept a weekly game together for the better part of 50 years. Bob was a deeply religious man, and when he passed suddenly, Jerry vowed to go to church and to play golf every Sunday as a memorial to his friend. The very next Sunday, Jerry, out solo, was strolling to his drive in the middle of the first fairway when he was startled by a vision of Bob standing near his ball. "Bob!" he exclaimed. "Jerry, it's great to see you buddy!" Bob proceeds to tell Jerry all about golf in heaven. "The fairways are wide, the greens are perfect, and you never have wait!" Jerry smiles fondly, tears in his eyes at his friend's elation. "Oh Jerry I have even better news... you're in our foursome next week!"

[venkman62]

[color=#000000]


[size=3][b]Sal Wallerstein was at the country club for his weekly round of golf. He
began his round with an eagle on the first hole and a birdie on the
second.


On the third hole he had just scored his first ever hole-in-one when his
cell phone rang... It was a doctor notifying him that his wife had just
been in a accident and was in critical condition and in ICU.


The man told the doctor to inform his wife where he was and that he'd be
there as soon as possible. As he hung up he realized he was leaving what
was shaping up to be his best ever round of golf.


He decided to get in a couple of more holes before heading to the
hospital. He ended up playing all eighteen, finishing his round shooting
A personal best 61, shattering the club record by five strokes and
beating his previous best game by more than 10. He was jubilant....


Then he remembered his wife. Feeling guilty he dashed to the hospital.
He saw the doctor in the corridor and asked about his wife's condition.


The doctor glared at him and shouted, "You went ahead and finished your
round of golf didn't you! I hope you're proud of yourself!"


"While you were out for the past four hours enjoying yourself at the
country club your wife has been languishing in the ICU! It's just as
well you went ahead and finished that round because it will be more than
likely your last! For the rest of her life she will require round the
clock care and you will be her care giver! She will need IV's; you will
have to change her colostomy bag every 3 hours; she will have to be
spoon fed 3 times a day and don't forget the hygiene care."


The man broke down and sobbed.


The doctor chuckled and said, "I'm just f'ing with you. She's dead.
What'd you shoot?"[/b][/size][/color][color=#000000]


[/color]

[KLeC]

[quote name='thug the bunny' timestamp='1441940029' post='12297398']
Media attention for an individual and entire family that has no other skills or talents to make a living. And they say receiving welfare is leeching off of society. What has any member of the Kardashian family ever given back to society to justify their millions???
[/quote]

I'm no fan of the Kardashian clan, but I am a capitalist. "Justify their millions?" Apparently, there's a market for what they're selling. Hopefully, they will go away.