Goofiest, Most Delusional Golfer Played With

[cardoustie]

I played with a guy that used to be a serial liar. He has since rehabbed himself - which is impressive. When I first met him he was rambling about his finishes in local big events. 3rd here, runner up there etc etc. I don't think he was aware that results were on line, which I checked when he left my office. Runner up apparently meant 47th in his brain

 

The twin used to have a boss that was a pencil wizard. This guy never made more than a 6 somehow with OOB's and hazard drops and 8 foot rake backs ... and had a knack of shooting 81-83 and claiming he was a 10 cap. But the worst was him going on and on afterwards about how he almost tied a lower cap player etc when in reality he had shot 100 at best. it was the most blatant lying on a card I've ever seen

[sheldonjhacker]

It amazes me how this wonderful game of golf brings out so much weirdness and dysfunctional behavior in some people. :russian_roulette:

[cardoustie]

Played with a NY guy once down in Myrtle Beach

 

Had a full sized bath towel hanging out his back pocket

 

Told me he was Joey from NY. The guy that calls into FAN (or similar name) Sports Radio all the time. HE COULD NOT BELIEVE I didn't know who he was, even though I live in greater Toronto

[ablewalker]

Yeah we know a guy who's a pretty good player but he has been known to use the old foot wedge and pick up every putt 3'-4' saying "That's good right"....always claims to be shooting sub 70 rounds.

[VNutz]

In an ironic twist Drake's uncle plays out of my course

 

One upper... :lol:

[drewtaylor21]

Gents, there is some true gold in this thread already!!

 

By far the strangest experience I've had on a golf course came while playing the Lake Chelan Muni in Washington state about 10 years ago. My buddy and I were out for an afternoon round, planning to just go around as a two-some, as the course was empty. We get to the first tee and we're about to tee off and a kid of about 16 runs up with a pull cart (if you've ever tried running with a pull cart you know how cool and casual this looks..../sarcastic). He pulls out his driver and just stands there and looks at us. My buddy and I glance at each other, expecting him to introduce himself or ask to join or SOMEthing! After another moment, I break the silence and say "hey, how ya doin?" He says "Aaron." lol! Ohhh kay! Well, I ask if he wants to join, and he says yes, so my buddy and I tee off. Aaron tees his ball up and then looks at me and says "how tall are you?" Totally caught off guard, I laugh and say, "um, 6 foot or 6'1?" He says "I thought so," and walks up and hits his ball. My buddy and I are dumbfounded, but off we go. On the second tee, he asks to compare height back to back! He was clearly a few inches shorter than me, but declared us the same height :rofl: The next hole he asked what my handicap was, as I was hitting it pretty well, and magically we were the same handicap (though he was probably 5-10 strokes worse in reality)!

 

We ended up having a fun time, as it was a very entertaining round and he was harmless, just very socially awkward. I think there were a few other oddities that came out on the back 9, but I can't remember any of the other details!

[jmck]

I also measure myself with other golfers by height.

[GHIN n Juice]

Not delusional but more of a time warp. A friend and I went out to play after work and got paired with two guys who just got off a plane from Milwaukee. These two were the making of a Milwaukee stereotype. Both of them were LARGE men, dressed like characters out of Kingpin with the comb overs to match. And the best part was their conversation the whole front nine. Nonstop bowling talk. They must have spent three holes quizzing my friend and I about the best bowling alleys in the area. Who travels on vacation with golf clubs and bowling balls?

[justasgood]

Gents, there is some true gold in this thread already!!

 

By far the strangest experience I've had on a golf course came while playing the Lake Chelan Muni in Washington state about 10 years ago. My buddy and I were out for an afternoon round, planning to just go around as a two-some, as the course was empty. We get to the first tee and we're about to tee off and a kid of about 16 runs up with a pull cart (if you've ever tried running with a pull cart you know how cool and casual this looks..../sarcastic). He pulls out his driver and just stands there and looks at us. My buddy and I glance at each other, expecting him to introduce himself or ask to join or SOMEthing! After another moment, I break the silence and say "hey, how ya doin?" He says "Aaron." lol! Ohhh kay! Well, I ask if he wants to join, and he says yes, so my buddy and I tee off. Aaron tees his ball up and then looks at me and says "how tall are you?" Totally caught off guard, I laugh and say, "um, 6 foot or 6'1?" He says "I thought so," and walks up and hits his ball. My buddy and I are dumbfounded, but off we go. On the second tee, he asks to compare height back to back! He was clearly a few inches shorter than me, but declared us the same height :rofl: The next hole he asked what my handicap was, as I was hitting it pretty well, and magically we were the same handicap (though he was probably 5-10 strokes worse in reality)!

 

We ended up having a fun time, as it was a very entertaining round and he was harmless, just very socially awkward. I think there were a few other oddities that came out on the back 9, but I can't remember any of the other details!

 

He may have been a functional autistic.

[aarbro]

I wonder how many of these posts are unknowingly about other members of WRX?

[Springsteennut]

Got to be myself. It's amazing the shots I can convince myself I can pull off with my skill level.

[MtlJeff]

I used to play with a few friends from work before they had kids and pretty much stopped playing, i'd play probably 15 rounds a year with these guys outside of the club i belonged to, just because i really liked the guys and playing various courses was fun

 

One of them had a friend who played with us when we needed a 4th , and was the incarnate of every stereotype you hate. I only played with him a few times before straight up refusing to ever play with him again. He was a terrible golfer but thought he knew everything about the swing, he would forcefully give you swing advice every time you missed a fairway or a green (he'd say "you know why you missed that right, you did X, here let me show you"). The guy realistically couldn't break 110 but always shot 90 or something due to mulligans or forgotten strokes. He was clueless on the course, always not ready or playing out of turn. One time he stepped on my driver on the tee box and scuffed the top

 

The icing on the cake was when we teed off first group of the day at a course we played a lot. The back 9 is separated from the front so there's no parralel holes or anything. And on the 10th hole one of my friends sprays one off the tee and the dude yells "FOREEEEEE!!!!" at the top of his lungs (oddly he had not done this on the front). I told him "dude, i get it, but we're the first tee off of the day, there's no one on this 9 yet".....he responded "When someone misses the fairway, you yell fore, it's the rules".......then out of nowhere (again he had not done this on the front), he yelled "FOREEEEEEEE" really loudly on like 5 holes on the back, when there was no one else on the course.

 

He was a really , really bizarre and annoying guy. After that round i told my friend not to invite him again, or not to invite me

[aarbro]

.....he responded "When someone misses the fairway, you yell fore, it's the rules".......

Imagine if this was the case. A packed course on a Saturday morning would just be a constant, deafening FORRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!

 

Those poor people that have houses on the course.

[thug the bunny]

LOL... nothing as crazy as what you guys posted.

 

My brother and I went to go play one of the toughest tracks in the area (this was about 10 years ago) and the started paired us up with another 2-some. Back then, I was around a 7 and my brother was probably a 10. We were just going to play the blue tees and have a relaxing afternoon just enjoying the scenery and a tough track.

 

We got paired up with two dufus guys.... we get to the first tee and they are on the tips and we introduce ourselves. They state they are playing the tips because they want to "see the whole course".... they had never played it before. We were like OK, cool... we'll play back there with you guys. Immediately, they discuss what we are going to be betting. I chime in that I don't bet with strangers unless they have handicap cards on them. Neither did (of course), so we didn't bet. They both stated they were 2's and didn't mind giving us strokes. At that point, I was kicking myself! hahahaa....

 

Anyway, long story short, I shot something like a 75, my brother shot maybe an 80 (both played very well) and neither of the two dummies broke 100.

 

My brother was PISSED that I wouldn't bet them..... LOL.

 

-ZA

 

And those guys told their buddies that they played with a couple guys who must have at least been state am champs..

[Smitty1304]

I'm over here dying laughing and just shaking my head worse than Michael J. Fox at some of these cringeworthy stories....keep them coming!

[thug the bunny]

It amazes me how this wonderful game of golf brings out so much weirdness and dysfunctional behavior in some people. :russian_roulette:

 

Now that you made me think about it, this delusional behavior is exhibited throughout all human endeavor. I hate when I encounter it in the workplace.

[cardoustie]

Played with a semi delusional Amish kid in Myrtle. He thought he was very long and was always clubbing off of me, and short consistently. The twin and I were sampling the brews and were zinging the guy mercilessly.

 

I was waiting quite a few times to let the guys in front of us clear and Amish Mike said he should wait as well ... I told him he'd need two shots

 

This guy loved the needle and gave it back hard at us as well. He was temporarily stunned when my brother asked if raised a barn at the turn when home.

 

You had to be there I guess

[Caddykev]

A guy where I caddy was banned from all official club games and tourneys for cheating. When I caddied for him the first time on the first hole he started with a Bridgestone, hit into the fescue, and told me to help the other player I also had since he was prob going to just look for a minute and then just drop one in the fairway and concede the hole. As I looked over he was about 30 yards where I would have looked for it claiming that he found it. I noticed that the ball was a titleist when I shot his yardage for his next shot. I told the guy he was playing with and pretty mucj the only guy that would play with him about and he laughed telling me that It amused him watching his buddy who is a borderline billionaire pad his own ego by blatantly cheating at a game of golf and match that they had no money on. He said he could keep his score without watching him play cause it was always around par, but that the best part was playing guess when he'll drop one, and what kind of ball did he start the hole and finish with. Every time I'm on that loop it's so bizarre that I have to try my hardest not to laugh the whole time.

[SmiterOfPv1x]

Great! Keep them coming.

 

I have to admit that I might be the topic of someone on here at some point if the guy is on here. As I've repeatedly stated, I am not great. I can hit a golf ball a long way (most of the time) but like anyone on here that doesn't get to play enough (due to a 50+ hour work week, family, or other obligations) 90% of my shots look like a pro struck it and the other 10% leave me and everyone observing wondering why I am even there and typically ruin most rounds. I'm as liable to shoot a 102 as I am a 68. I usually do both any given year. Surprisingly I have few rounds between 75-85. I'm either on or I'm not. No middle ground. Even par or 100. What's it going to be today??

 

Anyways, I'm playing a round with my brother in-law. He knows that I've competed in long drive comps in the past and has heard that I'm an "awesome" golfer (not my words, trust me-I remember those 102 rounds). My family, like most, has its problems. One of them, as I'm about to find out is that they're a bunch of degenerate gamblers. So while talking he tells me his best round was a couple weeks ago when he shot a 79. Nice score, but he assures me he doesn't usually play that well and asks me my best. I tell him the truth and say 66 (par 71) but also let him know that I'm more likely to be around 100 than there. Especially on this course. It's a great course (top 25 public course in the US that can be played for under $50.00) but it ALWAYS kicks my tail. I try to talk him out of any bets to no avail and we end up at $1.00 skins. Most anyone is on the hook for is basically a tootsie roll and pocket lint. My kind of round.

 

Long story (I always have those!) short, I proceed to play the worst round of my life. I didn't record a single par. What? Yes, no pars. Not one. Nothing under either. I'm blocking every single drive and this isn't the course for it. While I won't call it "tight" you better be straight. I ended up under every tree in the right side of that course that there was. I was so bad that he probably thought he was paired with most of the guys you're all writing about. I didn't do a single thing well. Not one. I didn't do a single thing average. Not one. I hit one fairway. Bogey. I hit two greens. Three putt bogeys. I bladed wedges. I took 2 to get out of bunkers. I have no idea what was going on that round but there is no doubt that it was NOT golf. If I had to hazard a guess it was The Powers That Be telling me to take up swimming. Or bike riding. Or suicide by wood chipper.

 

He probably walked off the course thinking "what a doofus. I need to post this on WRX" and with an extra 18.00 in his pocket. He didn't break 90 and I didn't win a single skin. Not one.

[SmiterOfPv1x]

A guy where I caddy was banned from all official club games and tourneys for cheating. When I caddied for him the first time on the first hole he started with a Bridgestone, hit into the fescue, and told me to help the other player I also had since he was prob going to just look for a minute and then just drop one in the fairway and concede the hole. As I looked over he was about 30 yards where I would have looked for it claiming that he found it. I noticed that the ball was a titleist when I shot his yardage for his next shot. I told the guy he was playing with and pretty mucj the only guy that would play with him about and he laughed telling me that It amused him watching his buddy who is a borderline billionaire pad his own ego by blatantly cheating at a game of golf and match that they had no money on. He said he could keep his score without watching him play cause it was always around par, but that the best part was playing guess when he'll drop one, and what kind of ball did he start the hole and finish with. Every time I'm on that loop it's so bizarre that I have to try my hardest not to laugh the whole time.

 

I'm envious. And I'm not one prone to it. Caddying would be a great way to make a living. I'd love to do it. I'm not a rich guy, I make a decent honest living. That said I probably am the best "tipper" that I know of. I might leave a little. I might leave a lot. If the service is great there will be a nice surprise for them. I've never had a paid caddy, but I can only imagine how pricey that would get for me if I had a great one. I hope you are great and I hope that most recognize that. And pay up accordingly.

 

Heck, I pay a hefty price for the bar lady that gets me drunk. If she's relatively friendly and my brew is topped when needed. Someone giving me good advice on a course? Yup. I'd take out a mortgage for that.

[2bGood]

LOL... nothing as crazy as what you guys posted.

 

My brother and I went to go play one of the toughest tracks in the area (this was about 10 years ago) and the started paired us up with another 2-some. Back then, I was around a 7 and my brother was probably a 10. We were just going to play the blue tees and have a relaxing afternoon just enjoying the scenery and a tough track.

 

We got paired up with two dufus guys.... we get to the first tee and they are on the tips and we introduce ourselves. They state they are playing the tips because they want to "see the whole course".... they had never played it before. We were like OK, cool... we'll play back there with you guys. Immediately, they discuss what we are going to be betting. I chime in that I don't bet with strangers unless they have handicap cards on them. Neither did (of course), so we didn't bet. They both stated they were 2's and didn't mind giving us strokes. At that point, I was kicking myself! hahahaa....

 

Anyway, long story short, I shot something like a 75, my brother shot maybe an 80 (both played very well) and neither of the two dummies broke 100.

 

My brother was PISSED that I wouldn't bet them..... LOL.

 

-ZA

 

And those guys told their buddies that they played with a couple guys who must have at least been state am champs..

 

There are two clients I play with once per year. Great guys, really nice, love golf, but not very good players. To be social I will generally play the same tees as them and my round is 100% about making sure they have fun and 0% about the golf. All the same given the short tees I tend to shoot around 75 or less. These two guys are always legitimly shocked I never tried to go pro. :taunt: They have even offered to help bankroll me.

[LeftDaddy]

I've generally been paired up with good guys over the years...I would say 19 out of 20 folks I'm paired with end up being totally good guys / gals. That said, id estimate that 19 out of 20 also overstate their skills or are having "the worst day of their lives" ironically on the day I'm playing with them. That kind of stuff. A mild version of the stories being told in this thread. And I get it, I've been there too. I remember one round I played with some new guys from work and after a par on the 1st hole I just literally fell apart. At one point late in the round, one of the guys was laughing out loud at my misfortune. So I get it.

 

But it never ceases to amaze me when I play with someone and they seem to be all over the place and seem to be less skilled than I at every single aspect of the game yet somehow seem to be scoring as well or better than I. I'm not saying they are all lying or cheating...some guys can just scramble and I can be a major choke artist. But I would estimate that I am better than at least 80% of people I get paired with yet they are talking about the "75 I shot last week" (and I am in no way bragging with that statement...I'm a legit 11 hcp and everything that goes along with that...good and bad).

 

Back to the stories..this is a bit of a variant on the theme of the rest of the posts. I sometimes get paired up with couples. Once I was paired with a young couple and the guy was pretty decent at golf and a good guy. The girl was attractive, and was wearing a really short white skirt. And let's just say that when she bent over to putt, she put on a show. She apparently also had on some white see through underwear. It was hard to concentrate during that round.

 

A new couple joined our club recently and they showed up at the 1st hole the same time as me and a friend. The guy basically asked if he could move on ahead and not pair up. He says "It's really only me that's playing...my wife wants to hit a few balls too but not play the whole round. Don't worry...we will be quick. I'm teaching her how to play so it will be alright". I'm a bit skeptical because I just am by nature, but say OK. The guy goes to tee off and unleashes the worst swing I have ever witnessed. It is impossible to describe it, but he looped the club back and came back down with major out-to-in action and he fell back with all of his weight on his back foot which ultimately caused him to practically run backwards at the completion of his swing. Needles to say, I was stuck behind this guy the rest of the round and was not happy about it. His wife? She had a pretty decent swing. She was the one that should have been doing the teaching.

[thug the bunny]

LOL... nothing as crazy as what you guys posted.

 

My brother and I went to go play one of the toughest tracks in the area (this was about 10 years ago) and the started paired us up with another 2-some. Back then, I was around a 7 and my brother was probably a 10. We were just going to play the blue tees and have a relaxing afternoon just enjoying the scenery and a tough track.

 

We got paired up with two dufus guys.... we get to the first tee and they are on the tips and we introduce ourselves. They state they are playing the tips because they want to "see the whole course".... they had never played it before. We were like OK, cool... we'll play back there with you guys. Immediately, they discuss what we are going to be betting. I chime in that I don't bet with strangers unless they have handicap cards on them. Neither did (of course), so we didn't bet. They both stated they were 2's and didn't mind giving us strokes. At that point, I was kicking myself! hahahaa....

 

Anyway, long story short, I shot something like a 75, my brother shot maybe an 80 (both played very well) and neither of the two dummies broke 100.

 

My brother was PISSED that I wouldn't bet them..... LOL.

 

-ZA

 

And those guys told their buddies that they played with a couple guys who must have at least been state am champs..

 

There are two clients I play with once per year. Great guys, really nice, love golf, but not very good players. To be social I will generally play the same tees as them and my round is 100% about making sure they have fun and 0% about the golf. All the same given the short tees I tend to shoot around 75 or less. These two guys are always legitimly shocked I never tried to go pro. :taunt: They have even offered to help bankroll me.

 

Go for it!

[RayGorman]

Most delusional? How about EVERY player that seems to wait until the group in front is 700 yards away because "last week I really nailed one about 240", or "I'm going for the green, so I'm going to wait while they putt out... 400 yards away... over a lake... and around the corner...

 

But seriously, folks... No real super goofy or delusional other than these two. Paired up with that "Pro from Dover" at Tarpon Woods many years ago- you know, looks like he ran into a Taylor Made display while covered in glue. Full size tour bag with all the doo-dads and about 25 bag tags from fancy courses. It felt like 8000 degrees with 300% humidity and he's got on his $100 polyester pants, $80 Izod golf shirt and $400 cashmere sweater.. a SWEATER! Asked if I minded playing from the Blues (not quite tips) because the Whites "aren't long enough". Sure, no problem. Well, out-drove him by 30-50 yds for the next three holes, parred two and birdied one. He spent those holes looking for his ball on either side of the fairway and at least 3 putting every green. Suddenly, "the pace was too slow and he was going back to the clubhouse..."

 

Oh, okay. And he started to take MY bag off the cart. Ummm, no. You quit, YOU walk back. "but..." YOU QUIT, YOU WALK BACK.

 

 

the other was just a bit quirky. For a couple of years I had been playing with a friend of mine occasionally. I would help with his game, not necessarily the swing, but strategy and course management (no hero shots, play safe, etc...) He progressed pretty rapidly, and improved a lot when we got around to cutting his clubs down since he was a bit on the "height challenged" side. I never really paid attention to his scores since we never played for anything, just having some fun. He moved away to Hilton Head and I visited a year or so later. We were playing Sea Pines or something and about the 3rd or 4th hole he hit a nice lag putt to about a foot. The lag putt WAS for par. I said "That's good.." and he picked up. Putting the scores on the card in the cart I put down my 5 and his 5. "Five?... you said it was good..." Yeah, the NEXT one was good. "Huh? I thought you gave me the putt." I DID, the one for a five, NOT the one for a 4. "Really? I thought it was just a thing that it meant the original was good."

 

It wasn't like he was all pissed off or mad, he was honestly mistaken that a gimme wasn't counted. kind of a reward for a good previous attempt. We had a good laugh over that one, because I finally figured out why he was scoring so much better than I thought and a LOT closer to my scores. After that, he found out he wasn't *quite* as good as he thought.

[3ack]

In an ironic twist Drake's uncle plays out of my course

 

Ask him if he knows Stanley, an entrepreneur out of South Carolina who's tight with his nephew's Manager. I have his number if he wants it.

[2putttom]

"I won't say how I played since this place has a way of berating and calling folk they don't know liars, but I will state the longest shot he had was less than 1/4 of my shortest drive..."

 

it's not that your long ...it's that he's short.... :taunt:

[SmiterOfPv1x]

"I won't say how I played since this place has a way of berating and calling folk they don't know liars, but I will state the longest shot he had was less than 1/4 of my shortest drive..."

 

it's not that your long ...it's that he's short.... :taunt:

.

 

Yup! That happens when he constantly mishit every ball. Topped. Hosel. Toe. Went under it. Hit behind it. His furthest shot went 60 some yards, PW if I recall.

[Dizz]

Tournament golf does bring out some beauties... I played in a junior tournament like 10-15 years ago now and this kid was dressed head to toe in NIke gear. He had a 6.5 degree 975D, Titleist PT, Nike Blades 2-PW, Vokeys, Studio Stainless.... TW's exact bag. He shot 98... had no business playing a low lofted driver or 2 iron... he had a yardage book... walked and talked like he was a tour player.

 

Same event and the same group... there was a kid in a tee shirt with EYE2 irons, a VFT driver and an old Anser putter and he shot 66... I think he hit 17 or 18 greens that day.

[larrybud]

Just thought of another guy I played golf with... the opposite of what we're talking about. This was a GAM amateur net tournament, maybe 5-6 years ago. Guy probably about 60 years old. Dressed in all black, and his shirt was a long sleeve Johnny Cash type dress shirt (I don't know how he turned), and he wore a black cowboy hat, with these really sparkly Elton John type sunglasses. I got a glance... they were Christian Dior. Huh, those are pricey, right? His shoes were made of some sort of dead animal with scales and such.

 

During the round he's telling us how he's been kicked out of 3 local country clubs for high stakes gambling. We're talking 10-$20k rounds of golf. BS meter was going off...

 

After the round I saw him drive off. In a very new Bentley.

[fore_life]

Can I nominate myself?