Have you ever fell out of love with the game?

[bhard315]

Was obsessed with playing in high school, through college, and up until I was 28 or so? Normally shot mid 70’s to mid 80’s on most days then around 2020 when Covid hit and shutdowns happened, I played a ton with my dad and brother. But at the same time, I started developing the occasional chipping yips. Have not figured out a way to completely fix it yet and it has somewhat killed my desire to go play the past few years.

[Sp4zRX]

I played some as a teenager, then caught the bug hard in my early 20s. I played 4-5 times a week for about two years. Never got any better but never got mad on the course. Then one day I just snapped from frustration and let out a stream of profanities while throwing clubs and said I quit. I just rode in the cart and watched my buddies play the rest of the round and I didn’t pick up a club for about 15 years. 
 

When I did start swinging the clubs again, 15 years later, I promised myself that I will never get mad on the course again. If I do, then it’s time to give it up. 

[elwhippy]

Course is saturated and likely to be so all winter. Defo looking for other pastimes as walking through mud and hitting off plastic mats is not golf. 

 

[hackinghokie]

I stepped away for about 8 years, but recently got back in hard. It was nice to go out a few times a year, play bogey golf, and be on my way. 
 

It’s become more of an obsession lately as other hobbies fall out of favor. Loving it again! 

[jda]

I don't love the game every day or every round.  Sometimes I just go for a walk and swing and hit some balls along the way - never look for a yardage or read a putt.  Sometimes I like to be as aggressive as possible and shoot at every pin, miss doglegs and greens with a goal of losing shots but also learning to recover - this is my most played round.  Sometimes I like to lace up my shoes, play for fairways, middle of greens and putt to the edges for best score.  Sometimes I like to go out on a warmer December day with frozen fairways and hard greens and bomb drives that roll forever and bounce balls up into greens and pretend that I am playing a links course in Scotland.  Each one of these is a different experience and keep me from falling out of anything.

[Pepperturbo]

When I saw the tread topic, it made me think of a few things, marriage and commitment.   When I look back on my life, what stands out is that when I decided to do something, I didn't take the commitment lightly; I was in it to the end, whatever end meant.  Because golf is a lifestyle commitment, I can't imagine falling out of love with it, my wife or anything that's important to me.

 

Maybe that has something to do with why I didn't take up golf until 40yrs old, and didn't marry until years later.  It allowed me to put in the time to develop the company, without compromising family values, and to develop my interests.  Even though I want to excel in whatever I tackle, I don't like quitting, failing, or giving up, or falling out of love with something or someone; it's the way I am cut.

 

Taking on too much in life, not prioritizing, losing sight, and holding on to a lack of imagination, can seriously impact other interests.   Probably why so many irreconcilable differences happen in divorce proceedings; mental laziness at any cost.  Though I no longer have the same level of intensity, I can still find it in me to be challenged by golf. 

 

Never quit on yourself, and never give up on what you commit to.

[TallGuy90]

I enjoy the winter breaks. I might play a round or two if the weather is okay during winter. I don’t pick a club up general though until mid May.

[Nickb333]

On 11/20/2023 at 9:05 AM, bhard315 said:

Was obsessed with playing in high school, through college, and up until I was 28 or so? Normally shot mid 70’s to mid 80’s on most days then around 2020 when Covid hit and shutdowns happened, I played a ton with my dad and brother. But at the same time, I started developing the occasional chipping yips. Have not figured out a way to completely fix it yet and it has somewhat killed my desire to go play the past few years.

I almost quit golf because my chipping went completely to hell. In my 30’s my short game kept me in the money. 20 years later, it tried to kill me. 
 

Sir Nick Faldo saved me with a simple on air observation and comment. He watched a pro duff a chip and said. Paraphrasing…“See what he did? He just used his hands. You can’t do that or the club goes straight into the ground. Turn turn. You must turn away and turn through, even on the short shots.” 
 

That simple comment kept me golfing. Turn turn. 

[dgarland]

Yes... after about the first 3 holes every time I play.

[Long_Left]

On 9/19/2023 at 10:38 PM, Kingdog said:

Have been a golf nut since I was 10 years old. Our seasons are short here on the prairies in Canada so every spring in April around Masters time I would get so excited for another 6 short months of golf. Now I think I'm taking next year off completely and maybe permanently. 

 

I had a golf trip this summer that I have been planning for 5 years. 5 bucket list courses in the Rocky Mountains in 4 days with close friends and relatives. I played terrible. Got so frustrated with my play I broke the shaft on my 5 iron. After the trip I didn't play for a month and a half. And honestly had no desire to play. My Dad invited me out this past weekend for a quick 9 holes. Sleepwalked to a 51. Didn't feel anything.

 

Guy's I might be done with a game I've loved for 40 years of my life. Has anyone else ever felt this way before? Did it pass? My wife is ecstatic about getting her husband for a whole year next year and I don't blame her. She deserves it after putting up with the game for 25 years of marriage.  Honestly if I received a email tonight informing me that I won a all expenses paid trip to Bandon Dunes a place I have dreamed about going to I would probably pass. I feel like what's the point I would play terrible. Anyone else been in this dark place? I hope not it doesn't feel good.

This hits home, last month was the club championship, one of roughly four "big" golf weekends for me over the course of a year and I had prepped pretty well for it. Felt good, was relaxed, had a decent pairing and was ready to play some decent golf, weather was perfect, course in great shape. Put up an 87 on Saturday... literally nothing was good, though I battled and stayed in it mentally. Last place in my flight by several shots. First group out on Sunday, laughing and joking around with the guys in my foursome, who had earned the pairing. I was stress free. Went out in 51 and felt like I was watching someone else play, made it thru 12 holes and walked off the course for the first time (due to bad play) in over 30 years of golf. I birdied the 12th and felt absolutely nothing and decided I'd rather be hanging out with my kids.  My average score this year is 79, previous worst competition round was 84 in brutal wind.

 

Didn't touch a club for about 10 days, and I'm a range rat, 3-4 days a week on average. I wasn't enthusiastic about it but I went out to the range nearly two weeks later and hit it miserably, still getting nothing from the good ones and letting the bad ones get to me. Over the next week or so I went back out twice, brought the launch monitor, and swapped a few "old reliable" clubs back into the bag and started to hit it better and feel better about it.

 

Then last week I was making dinner and took a significant portion of a finger and fingernail off with a vegetable peeler and my first thought was "well, I'm not getting to play golf anytime soon" followed by "meh, I'll be fine."

 

It's disappointing, but the forced layoff (we're year round here) may do me some good, I'm actually feeling anticipation for getting back out there. I wouldn't recommend trimming your nails with an overly sharp vegetable peeler, but go do something else that you don't expect to be good at just for the enjoyment of it and see if it makes you think of golf. I'd bet you'll have the urge to go play, and if you don't, wait for it to come back, forcing it out of habit won't get you back to loving it. 

 

Regardless if it's golf or not, find your fun, we're about the same age if I'm reading your post correctly and all I ever want for Christmas is Lego sets, hoping for a 3000+ piece one this year.

 

If you really really really need some perspective, read Ken Green's book "Hunter of Hope." 

 

 

 

 

[nac]

I've been playing for 30 years now, started when I was 5 years old. I played in tournaments from 8 until my second year in college when I all but stopped playing all together. I just lost whatever I had in the tank to play that year. Then the following spring came the weather warmed up and I went out and played like that previous year never happened. I'm guessing mental fatigue from all those years playing but I've been back ever since. 🍻 

[dashanks]

   I've fallen out of love with watching the game.  The pros these days all walk around the tournaments looking like they have a serious case of constipation.  Hardly ever crack a smile and virtually no fan interaction to speak of.   Negative reactions to bad shots are basically the only time any emotion shows.  Otherwise, it's like they are in a cocoon, trying to stay in the "Zone," I guess.   Golf could really use some personality out there.  An Arnie, Trevino, or Chi-Chi.  A golf course full of players trying to act like Tiger is not a lot of fun to watch.

   

[Mikey_HACKilroy]

Welcome to modern day Earth. We take everything so seriously.

The Tour didn't beat the fun out of professional golf. We - all collectively - did.

That said, I don't watch professional golf. It bores me. It bored me 30 years ago... it bored me 20 years ago, and it bores me today.

Edited December 9, 2023 by Mikey_HACKilroy

[dashanks]

Hype has a negative effect in the long run.

[ANimz]

On 9/20/2023 at 12:38 AM, Kingdog said:

Have been a golf nut since I was 10 years old. Our seasons are short here on the prairies in Canada so every spring in April around Masters time I would get so excited for another 6 short months of golf. Now I think I'm taking next year off completely and maybe permanently. 

 

I had a golf trip this summer that I have been planning for 5 years. 5 bucket list courses in the Rocky Mountains in 4 days with close friends and relatives. I played terrible. Got so frustrated with my play I broke the shaft on my 5 iron. After the trip I didn't play for a month and a half. And honestly had no desire to play. My Dad invited me out this past weekend for a quick 9 holes. Sleepwalked to a 51. Didn't feel anything.

 

Guy's I might be done with a game I've loved for 40 years of my life. Has anyone else ever felt this way before? Did it pass? My wife is ecstatic about getting her husband for a whole year next year and I don't blame her. She deserves it after putting up with the game for 25 years of marriage.  Honestly if I received a email tonight informing me that I won a all expenses paid trip to Bandon Dunes a place I have dreamed about going to I would probably pass. I feel like what's the point I would play terrible. Anyone else been in this dark place? I hope not it doesn't feel good.

Only advice I could give is to play the game for the relationship with your father and friends.  Enjoy the experience more than expectations to be great.  

[st1800e]

2 hours ago, ANimz said:

Only advice I could give is to play the game for the relationship with your father and friends

Yes, because there will come a day when you can’t play with them.  

[wombat_vortex]

I can get physically tired of playing, especially with a bad back.  If I try and play more than twice a week, after that I'm more going through the motions of it and not having much fun.  But my passion and interest has never wavered these 20 something years I've been playing. 

[leezer99]

I used to play 100+ rounds per year and was a total golf nut but I also have a junior golfer that plays a lot of tournaments on the weekends and practices most days during the week. About three years ago, I stopped playing my normal weekend rounds to take him to events or to hang out with my daughter. Oddly enough, I didn't miss it one bit. Ended up getting my son a junior membership at a very nice club in the area and we'll have wedge contests at the end of his range sessions which is the full extent of my 'golfing' now. I probably hit 20 balls or less per week but I get to hang out and walk with him while he plays his after school nine hole rounds. 

[Supa Dupa Fly]

I was just about to ask this question when I cam across this thread. I took a 10 year hiatus because I was so burned out.

I started play sine little, and peaked at about a 6 hc when Big Berthas, HawkEye and ERCs were a thing. I saw that I couldn't gain anymore distance (250 yards or so) and couldn't get any better so I flat out quit. 

Fast forward to the pandemic, decided to pick it up again, and was surprised to gain 20 yards (100% due to tech) , and this got me hooked again.

Fast forward to now, and I'm off golf again, but this time because of other responsibilities.

Trying to find that itch to play again so hopefully upgrading my entire bag will do the trick.

[TNwanabe]

Interesting topic. When I retired, I took to playing more after a long career. While working, I was a once or twice a month player. I was not that great with the typical big slice and duffed shots. I would get upset sometimes but I didn't play that often, so I knew I was limited.

Now I am able to play over 100 rounds a year. Playing and practicing a lot, I became way better than I was. Not as long, but way better. That makes the game so much more fun. I'm no low handicap but I can play decent on a muni now. All this had 2 big effects on me. The first is because I play a lot, I feel a LOT less pressure to play well. Its less of an "event" to play. The anticipation and pressure I would put on myself to play well in the past was because it was my one time to get out and play for the month. Now it is less of an event because I can literally go play the next day instead of having to wait a month or weeks. It makes a big difference overall when you can potentially go redeem yourself the next day. Or have an opportunity to work on the particular problem immediately without having to wait until the next weekend to even have time to go to the range. It makes a huge difference to your overall outlook on the game. 

 

The second thing I learned is I play much better when I don't chat. This makes me have to decide how the day is going to be going in. When I am working my swing I want to play alone for this reason. This is not always in my control however because the people here in Tennessee are the nicest most polite group I have ever encountered. So polite talk is sometimes mandatory. And I'm ok with that. 

[rxk9fan]

Of course there are many ways outside of golf to enjoy life! If you decide to go another way, you might find passion and love that exceeds this crazy game!
I once quit for 20 plus years. The year I quit I was playing to a 3HC when I compound fractured both arms. I was told I would likely never play golf again. I made a job out of proving they were wrong. A year later I stood on number 18 and made a short putt to shoot 75. I traded hand shakes with my playing partners on 18, and told them I was done. For the next 20 years I trained German Shepherds and competed in Schutzhund or looked for the perfect photograph. I did not even miss golf.

One day

a long time friend text me and said “we need to play Pebble and Spyglass this summer”. I did and here I am loving golf more than ever before.

 

IMO, sometimes enough is just enough. It does not mean you won’t again love the game. 
 

Best to you regardless of your direction!
sincerely,

Greg

[EvanH]

After learning the game as a child in [with an odd set of old blades] and playing semi-regularly between 1984 -1995 (even if it was just with a 7-iron at the local Rugby club) I just about stopped completely.

Between 1995 and 2023 I played the equivalent of maybe 5 rounds in total. I had two 7 year periods where I didn't swing a club at all. Combination of factors - but apathy was certainly one of them. 

 

I became reinterested in the game in 2022.  My first game back in 2023. In 2024 I aim to play at least 9 holes each month.

I'm enjoying playing with older blades [my current faves are 1959 Dyna-Powered irons]. I don't carry a driver. Or a card.

But I do keep score when my brother and I (he's in Australia, I am in NZ) play for a trophy (on the rare times when we're in the same place).

Nothing quite like sibling rivalry. [when we were kids it was backyard cricket.  Now we're both either side of 50, it is golf]

 

[Mcgeeno]

9 holes a month! 

 

Slow down big rig.

[akronswitness]

Only about once a month 🙂 But in all seriousness I stopped playing and didn't even really have the desire go out from 2016-2019. Then 2020 happened to everyone and it resparked my interest in playing because it was one of the only things to do to get out of the house. I started to use golf as therapy to be outside and began to love it again.

 

Sorry for being a broken record with this one but last year sort of made me take a step back and was the first time I fell back into that 'take it or leave it' mindset. I'm only able to golf weekends--which means astronomical prices, overcrowded courses and frustratingly long rounds. There was a point towards the end of last year where wanted to go out, but stopped myself a few times and said no because I didn't want to deal with the current state of public golf. 

 

Im sure that will all go away and I'll be itching to get back out the first time it hits 60 degrees. Maybe. I hope.

 

[bigred90gt]

1 hour ago, akronswitness said:

Sorry for being a broken record with this one but last year sort of made me take a step back and was the first time I fell back into that 'take it or leave it' mindset. I'm only able to golf weekends--which means astronomical prices, overcrowded courses and frustratingly long rounds. There was a point towards the end of last year where wanted to go out, but stopped myself a few times and said no because I didn't want to deal with the current state of public golf. 

 

Im sure that will all go away and I'll be itching to get back out the first time it hits 60 degrees. Maybe. I hope.

 

I'm still there. If there is anything else to do with the wife, we don't play. I rarely play with my Saturday group anymore either. I just find I am more likely to prefer doing other things these days than to play golf. At least I am back to the point of enjoying it while I'm playing, I just no longer have the "I'd rather be playing golf" mindset when I am otherwise occupied. 

[Kansas King]

This is an interesting topic. 

 

I think one interesting thing about burnout today that is different from the past is that everyone has more or less collectively just experienced a major life event, the pandemic. My behaviors and the behaviors of my friends and coworkers are all different now from before 2020. Everyone's preferences have changed. The types of BS we're willing to put up with is different than it used to be four years ago. Four years ago, I used to regularly go to movies (at least 3 per month), I played golf at least four days per week, and I spent way more time traveling to do things with friends. 

 

Today, I play a lot of PlayStation with friends, I play golf less regularly, and I maybe watch 3 movies a year in the theater. Generally speaking, I spend a lot more time at home than I used to. Technology has made sitting at home easier. It's so easy to mindlessly spend hours scrolling through 10-second videos and playing video games without really getting burnt out. App and game developers have kind of cracked that burnout conundrum. They know how to force feed what the mind wants.

 

This is where golf gets interesting. For the most part, golf has gone the opposite way of technology and social media. Golf has gotten more expensive, takes longer on average, and is generally less pleasant (at least on a public course). I also think it's one of the now fewer times on average that we are getting out of the house during the week. 

 

So, considering all those things, I think there is a chance that it could simply be burnout. Traditional golf burnout has always existed. However, I would also argue that our changes in preferences, changes in technology, and changes in the game of golf itself may be contributing factors. 

 

This may sound crazy but there is nothing wrong with finding a psychologist or other mental health professional to talk to. 

 

Why torture ourselves when there is likely a grounded explanation for why we feel a certain way and proven mental exercises and therapies to help?

 

The best part is that you can joke about how golf led you to talking to a psychologist years from now. The other benefit about talking to a psychologist is that they can probably help you in other respects for your mental wellbeing. 

[PedronNiall]

I thought it was the rule not the exception that anyone who plays this game could use a bit of clinical help? 

[GooseHook]

Busy work life + 2 year old= last two seasons of no practice, very occasional golf, and very poor golf. 

 

Last few times have been spread out ~2 months between each other and they were both terrible. I'm dreading the next round combined with winter rust.I think my index would have skyrocketed, but I never had enough rounds in the system to even move more than half a point. 

 

I'm also kind of disinterested in new equipment (have been for a years) and realllly apathetic about pro golf. So yeah, I'm at least "on a break" with golf right now. 

[Philpug]

I took about 15 years off from about 2005 to 2020. I just didn't have the bandwidth to keep my skills up and it wasn't worth the frustration to jsut play once or twice a year. Now I am enjoying the game again and not taking it nearly as seriously as I did prior. It is fun again. 

[Seth2482]

Just when I am really struggling. I will not want to go play. Usually a couple weeks away and I am good again