How do you guys just... deal with life both on and off the course?

[golferdude54]

I recently moved to a new place (apartment) in a new state, hoping to rekindle my love in golf and life as I had been in a serious rut for the past few years. I had to leave basically everyone behind including my dog as my apartment wouldn't allow pets.

 

This place was the best I could find that would be kinda close to the golf course and the ceiling is super high so I could make a nice little swing station. I'm an unemployed single guy in my 20s that hasn't gotten a bachelor's yet so I moved here for both golf and college. I thought I would be happier here but I don't yet.

 

It will get better (of that, I'm confident, not just telling myself that) but I'm so dang far from where I want to be and how I want to feel. My swing sucks, my body sucks, and I suck. I know practically no one here. How do you guys deal with major life transitions and just be... happy?

[Llortamaisey]

This will probably be an unpopular post, don’t chase happiness. Happy is a fairytale people sell others to keep them down. It’s fleeting at best. Happiness can betatize men, make them complacent. Embrace the struggle. Being at peace with yourself will be much more satisfying than being happy.
 

Focus on getting better. Chase excellence above anything else. Become a capable, virtuous young man and your world will change for the better. If you get down, go to the gym, pick up heavy things. Join a dojo. Do the work. Some of the best times of my life were when I wasn’t happy, I was working a crap job that I felt was beneath me, it was insignificant and paid nothing, but I went to work everyday I did my job as if the future of mankind depended on it. Ask yourself everyday “what can I do to get better?” That will bring you satisfaction that isn’t fleeting, and you can continue to build on it. 

 

You can do it, you got this. 

[goaliedad30]

Another way to focus is not on happiness, but on gratitude. Twice a day, morning and evening, think for a few minutes about "What am I grateful for right now?" It doesn't have to be complicated ....

• I'm grateful I have a place to live
• I'm grateful I'm healthy enough to play golf
• I'm grateful that my morning coffee tastes awesome today
• I'm grateful I have the opportunity to attend college

Focusing that way will often create its own happiness. 

[Nard_S]

Someone, long time ago told me to define goals within a 5 year window. Where do you desire to be then? Then instill the discipline to work toward that everyday.That is where my happiness is derived, being in that process. There's ups and downs, but the task remains the same, the strategy & goals may morph but there is a framework of consistency to live by. It's a long enough window but not too long. Done over decades it's remarkable what can get done and how it can positively effect disposition of life.

[Nickb333]

Certainly nothing wrong with pursuing happiness. In fact it was considered an inalienable right, and Important enough to be listed just after Life and Liberty long ago by some pretty smart high achieving folks. 
 

Anyway, there aren’t really any shortcuts. As listed by other posters, goals (I preferred to use a vision instead of goals but whichever keeps you on track will do.) consistent work towards them will payoff. The choices you make every minute of every day are all we can really control in life. Make good ones. They will payoff. 
 

 

[PNWGuy]

You have taken the first step by reaching out to this community.  Going through life changes are difficult and talking it out with other people helps you adjust.  Try to make some connections with the new poeple around you and things will get better.  They don't need to become your best friends...  any connection will help.

 

Hang in there!

[bscinstnct]

Exercise that’s number 1, cardio, that can do wonders for your state of mind. You run 🏃🏻‍♂️ or cycle 🚴 you might meet people too

 

Eat well

 

Dot drink much

 

So, i’m basically telling you to do opposite of what I did at your age 🤣

 

But in your case, seems like you don’t have friends around so these things could be great for your attitude, sense of feeling content, confidence, and meeting folks. 
 

The other posters are giving you great advice and perspective. My thoughts are geared around actually optimizing your body/mind balance since you can only “think” your way so much to a better place. Some of it can come from the positive impact of exercise on your mind/just how you feel. 

[Petethreeput]

Beyond golf, what do you enjoy doing?

 

I have moved twice as a non-student in my adult life (23 & 26).  Both moves resulted in my not knowing a soul in my new towns.

 

i have always maintained I could live anywhere if I had friends, so then the question was, “How do I go about meeting people?”

 

Bars didn’t do it.  A lot of people, but generally the other singles were alone in a crowd searching.  That’s my experience anyway.

 

So I pursued my interests and since I was poor they had to be affordable pursuits.  Coffee shop readings, rec leagues, outdoor concerts, etc.  Work will also facilitate connections.

 

New is fun, new is scary, new is an opportunity to find yourself.  Embrace it, be grateful (as others have said), be truthful, and be present.  Social media is useless for true connection (IMO).

 

looking back on it, the worst place for me was home alone and bored, ie, lonely.  I read more philosophy books than I care to admit bc they kept my tiny mind occupied.  Within a 6 weeks or so good connections started to form, it just takes time.  Which sucks in the present but it is bound to happen.

 

Good luck, and once you’re back in school it will be much easier.

[aenemated]

"I wouldn't recommend sex, drugs or insanity for everyone but they've always worked for me." - Hunter S. Thompson aenemated

[bladehunter]

On 7/27/2024 at 10:32 AM, Llortamaisey said:

This will probably be an unpopular post, don’t chase happiness. Happy is a fairytale people sell others to keep them down. It’s fleeting at best. Happiness can betatize men, make them complacent. Embrace the struggle. Being at peace with yourself will be much more satisfying than being happy.
 

Focus on getting better. Chase excellence above anything else. Become a capable, virtuous young man and your world will change for the better. If you get down, go to the gym, pick up heavy things. Join a dojo. Do the work. Some of the best times of my life were when I wasn’t happy, I was working a crap job that I felt was beneath me, it was insignificant and paid nothing, but I went to work everyday I did my job as if the future of mankind depended on it. Ask yourself everyday “what can I do to get better?” That will bring you satisfaction that isn’t fleeting, and you can continue to build on it. 

 

You can do it, you got this. 

Agree completely.  Happiness is a worldly fleeting thing.  Kind of like a drug addiction or a drunk.  It’s only as good as the next hit. Learn to work the process daily.  The process for being better at everything.  Work. School.  Money. Golf. Always working the problem.  

[596]

I'll give you my take as I've been there done that, much later in life though.

 

Age 42 I quit my job and moved out of state. Took only what would fit in my car. No job.  Knew no one. 15k in debt. A friend told me at the time to go for it.  "If you look back after 20 years would you regret not doing it!"

 

It was hard. Very hard in fact. But, did what I enjoyed and didn't worry about the rest. Long story short, 8 years later I was a millionaire!  Barely. Did things I never thought possible.  Retired at 58 and haven't looked back.

 

Now enjoying being married and enjoying golf, fishing and cycling every day! No regrets. Had a great time!

[Nickb333]

5 hours ago, bladehunter said:

Agree completely.  Happiness is a worldly fleeting thing.  Kind of like a drug addiction or a drunk.  It’s only as good as the next hit. Learn to work the process daily.  The process for being better at everything.  Work. School.  Money. Golf. Always working the problem.  

So when you make money, learn something new, play a good round of golf because you wanted them and worked hard to achieve them doesn’t make you happy? 
 

iMO, if you find no happiness working toward and accomplishing/obtaining things, you’re working toward the wrong things. 

[bladehunter]

1 hour ago, Nickb333 said:

So when you make money, learn something new, play a good round of golf because you wanted them and worked hard to achieve them doesn’t make you happy? 
 

iMO, if you find no happiness working toward and accomplishing/obtaining things, you’re working toward the wrong things. 

I think the answer is determined by the persons type.  I’m not the type that’s capable of being satisfied.  If I win today , I want to win again tomorrow.  

I typed more. A lot more. And erased it .  The first paragraph is the gist.  No. I mean for a small time.  Sure . But that’s happiness vs joy.  Happiness is the immediate dopamine hit.  Joy lasts.  And is very rare.

 

as far as working towards the wrong goals ?  🤣. Well that’s the issue with being a type A personality with a constant stream of consciousness (24/7). It takes doe Rae me $ to  do what you can see in your head. I could live 100 lifetimes and  not get it done.  

[Nickb333]

31 minutes ago, bladehunter said:

I think the answer is determined by the persons type.  I’m not the type that’s capable of being satisfied.  If I win today , I want to win again tomorrow.  

I typed more. A lot more. And erased it .  The first paragraph is the gist.  No. I mean for a small time.  Sure . But that’s happiness vs joy.  Happiness is the immediate dopamine hit.  Joy lasts.  And is very rare.

 

as far as working towards the wrong goals ?  🤣. Well that’s the issue with being a type A personality with a constant stream of consciousness (24/7). It takes doe Rae me $ to  do what you can see in your head. I could live 100 lifetimes and  not get it done.  

So, winning one day makes you happy but winning many days brings no joy? Can an A type person find joy? I’m genuinely curious. 
 

Perhaps that explains why our founding fathers didn’t just write Life, Liberty and Happiness. Or include Joy for that matter. They chose to include “pursuit of” before happiness. 

 

I’m not sure anyone deserves joy or happiness unless they are willing to put forth some effort. That was my main point to the op. We all know it’s important to work and accomplish things. If for no other reason than to feed yourself. But there must be more to life than just work eat sleep right? Why not pursue a little happiness while you’re working toward your vision? 
 

 

 

 

[bladehunter]

9 minutes ago, Nickb333 said:

So, winning one day makes you happy but winning many days brings no joy? Can an A type person find joy? I’m genuinely curious. 
 

Perhaps that explains why our founding fathers didn’t just write Life, Liberty and Happiness. Or include Joy for that matter. They chose to include “pursuit of” before happiness. 

 

I’m not sure anyone deserves joy or happiness unless they are willing to put forth some effort. That was my main point to the op. We all know it’s important to work and accomplish things. If for no other reason than to feed yourself. But there must be more to life than just work eat sleep right? Why not pursue a little happiness while you’re working toward your vision? 
 

 

 

 

I’m not sure we want to go down this path. I’m not trying to steal the thread.  Or rain on it either. 
 

but if you want the literal answer of why not sprinkle in happiness? First answer is always going to be money/security …. Second will always be ,  Because I’m cursed with the knowledge that it’s not real.  It’s just a distraction … a way to stay alive. Truth is. Most humans never experience actual freedom and joy.  Plenty are oblivious to this.  So they are” happy”.  These normies are possibly the lucky ones.  I’ve seen  how cheap life is.  How success is way more about luck of the draw than work output.  And that a universally agreed on , good man , can die today and be forgotten by all but his immediate family in a mere matter of hours.  We’re only  as good as our usefulness to others who depend on us.  Beasts of burden.  Let’s leave it there.  We can’t spook the poor kid this early in life.  🤣

[Nickb333]

12 minutes ago, bladehunter said:

I’m not sure we want to go down this path. I’m not trying to steal the thread.  Or rain on it either. 
 

but if you want the literal answer of why not sprinkle in happiness? First answer is always going to be money/security …. Second will always be ,  Because I’m cursed with the knowledge that it’s not real.  It’s just a distraction … a way to stay alive. Truth is. Most humans never experience actual freedom and joy.  Plenty are oblivious to this.  So they are” happy”.  These normies are possibly the lucky ones.  I’ve seen  how cheap life is.  How success is way more about luck of the draw than work output.  And that a universally agreed on , good man , can die today and be forgotten by all but his immediate family in a mere matter of hours.  We’re only  as good as our usefulness to others who depend on us.  Beasts of burden.  Let’s leave it there.  We can’t spook the poor kid this early in life.  🤣

My intention was quite the opposite of trying to spook anyone. Especially the op. I’ve always looked at happiness as a very real benefit (like dopamine to an athlete as you mentioned) while building your life through accomplishments of your own choosing. Finish a good work out, ace an exam, play a good round all equal happiness to me. Why not enjoy the fruits of your labor? Use the draw of more happiness as motivation to achieve the next task. 
 

I truly hope your curse is lifted someday. 

[bladehunter]

8 hours ago, Nickb333 said:

My intention was quite the opposite of trying to spook anyone. Especially the op. I’ve always looked at happiness as a very real benefit (like dopamine to an athlete as you mentioned) while building your life through accomplishments of your own choosing. Finish a good work out, ace an exam, play a good round all equal happiness to me. Why not enjoy the fruits of your labor? Use the draw of more happiness as motivation to achieve the next task. 
 

I truly hope your curse is lifted someday. 

Preface again by saying.  I appreciate the conversation.  And I don’t mean any harm.  
 

but I think it just depends.  I’d say my outlook is partly because of a childhood that wasn’t. If that makes sense. I’ve been an adult for about 38 years of my 44.  Sure. I find smiles most days. But the issue is it doesn’t last.  While typing this comment and having the rest of my coffee I’ve already received a text that let Me know that a part I ordered to help someone with , is wrong.  Which means the next 2 hours will be spent figuring out why , and how to get the right one.  All for free. No good deed goes unpunished.  This means I’m starting the week behind. As usual.  That type thing for me is never ending.  Small potatoes.  Sure.  
 

i think the greater question is how ?  I think you underestimate just how many people on this earth never know any sort of financial stability/independence .  Without that you’re on a constant cycle of dread and fear response.  Cortisol pumping daily.  If I were to take a vacation, ( haven’t in 13 years ) all I can think of is “ how many hours extra will I have to work to afford this “. It’s way more stressful to be off than to work.  Most restful feeling I know is after a 12 hour workday. And that’s just how it is.  I’m not one that’s built to live a long life. I have too many obligations to take care of to ever be able to retire. And a body won’t do what I do forever.  I’ll burn out young im sure. My aim is to simply give my son a shot at a head start.  He’s 16 now and well on his way.  
 

I used to have idealist aspirations, saved plenty.  And watched the controllers market crashing measures camouflaged as “ normal cycles” take it all.  Twice.  I’m too old to think that I can do it again off my back.  It is what it is.  I’ll do my part, my duty.  And  that’s just it.  
 

This is why I advocate for focusing on the process.  , not on the dopamine hit.  Not on happiness.  The highs will come naturally.  But you can live through the daily by just saying “ ok Monday. Survive it .  Tuesday .  Survive it. Make up ground.  Wednesday. Ok. Almost Friday.  Thursday.  Finish strong.  Friday. Cram all you can in so that you can have Saturday morning off”.  Then you rest up for Monday.  Rinse repeat. After 40 years you’ll forget that dream … and be able to realize that it’s not really possible anymore . If it ever was.  Its luck.  And all trade offs.  Keeping your dignity and making lots of money is a tight rope walk that’s  next to impossible.  

Edited July 29, 2024 by bladehunter

[Nard_S]

8 hours ago, Nickb333 said:

Finish a good work out, ace an exam, play a good round all equal happiness to me. Why not enjoy the fruits of your labor? Use the draw of more happiness as motivation to achieve the next task

Funny, for me, the worst thing to do playing golf is taking joy from playing well. Or taking too much pride doing well in business. Or just assume that doing well deserves "happiness". Because it infers sadness for not doing well, see your index comment, lol. I find satisfaction (or "happiness") and  dismay in the process of things, not the outcomes. That is the big difference. You can do everything correct and still lose a hole or go bankrupt. You can fail upwards and luck into a great career and life undeserved or shoot way over your head.  The bedrock of self worth lies in how you approach the unknowns before you. With this, I never walk off golf course unhappy or show up for work not steeled for the challenges. If my compass is due North on "process"all is well. Pretty much why I think chasing index and "score is all that counts" mentality is daft and short sighted. How matters more than what. Otherwise it's like chasing adjusted gross income every year, to the decimal points no less, lol. Guaranteed to be unhappy a lot.

[bscinstnct]

If we look at the “feelings” we like least

 

anxiety, fear, sadness,

 

You can see how while none of our circumstances may have changed at all from one day to the next, some days we just have less of those feelings and feel pretty good. Confident and capable to do what we can to be constructive 

 

Why is that? Why can we feel good one day and not good the next day when nothing has changed?

 

I maintain that a lot of what we “feel” is generated by body/mind chemistry, for lack of a better word

 

You can only “think” your way to a positive attitude so much. 
 

But if you take time to exercise, especially get good at some intense cardio, you can positively impact this chemistry and attain a more content mind set as a baseline over time 

 

“Contentment”, and I mean just an even keeled positive outlook, is fantastic imo. Not “happiness” or elation, per say, just an overall positive vibe

 

This is simply an observation on my part, it is “backed” by science in a way, but id never claim it’s effective for one person vs another.  Clearly, it’s entirely case by case and may have no impact on some. 

Edited July 29, 2024 by bscinstnct

[bladehunter]

2 hours ago, Nard_S said:

Funny, for me, the worst thing to do playing golf is taking joy from playing well. Or taking too much pride doing well in business. Or just assume that doing well deserves "happiness". Because it infers sadness for not doing well, see your index comment, lol. I find satisfaction (or "happiness") and  dismay in the process of things, not the outcomes. That is the big difference. You can do everything correct and still lose a hole or go bankrupt. You can fail upwards and luck into a great career and life undeserved or shoot way over your head.  The bedrock of self worth lies in how you approach the unknowns before you. With this, I never walk off golf course unhappy or show up for work not steeled for the challenges. If my compass is due North on "process"all is well. Pretty much why I think chasing index and "score is all that counts" mentality is daft and short sighted. How matters more than what. Otherwise it's like chasing adjusted gross income every year, to the decimal points no less, lol. Guaranteed to be unhappy a lot.

Thank you kind sir.  I’m not good explaining what I feel or think. I ramble. Tons.   This is it.  Exactly. 
 

im a plus handicap golfer.  Never above a 5 when I began in 2014 as an adult.  And I began the game with the idea that everyone tried to shoot even par. I had no clue about handicaps.  But I was imputting scores so they’d let me play in the club events.  ( need a handicap ). I didn’t understand how it worked until I was registered as a 2.  I legitimately believed most peoples goal was par.  And that probably served me well for about a year. I shot even par once in the first 6 months  Until I realized that wasn’t true. Or reasonable for a beginner. And finally learned that process aim is way way better than goals or score. 
 

same in business. If I focus on a deadline. No chance I make it.  None.  If I focus on a dollar amount I need. No chance it  happens.  I just have to get after it until…. Every dang time I think score on course. I’ll come out of the groove and puke.  I can know the score. I always do. But if I say “ ok now. Let’s go 2 under for the next 5 to finish “. I’ll go 2 over more of the than even par. 
 

Most joy I ever had in a golf course. Losing the club championship on the last hole. I stayed in process and played a clean round vs a college player.  Was up by 5 ( while being 5 under ) on 13 of the final round and got beat on 18.  I didn’t beat myself.  I gave him all he wanted for 2 days.  And I was 5 years into the game.  He was 19 and played his whole life.   I smiled.  While others tried to console me.  I knew then that I  belonged. But nobody else understood it.  
 

 

thats joy.  The rest is just noise. 

[Nickb333]

I wish you guys well in all aspects of your lives. I’ll bow out of this conversation with a bit of confusion and simply say this. You’ve read way way too much into my happiness advocacy. I never said happiness should be your life’s goal, but some here seem to believe it’s not real or relevant. Happiness is real, relevant and a useful part of life. A little icing on the cake if you will. 
 

Be well. If you’re not, consider altering your daily choices. 

 

[tatertot]

There is a difference between happiness and joy ... happiness is fleeting and dependent outside forces you can't always control. Joy comes from within, and lasts eternally.

[bladehunter]

3 minutes ago, Nickb333 said:

I wish you guys well in all aspects of your lives. I’ll bow out of this conversation with a bit of confusion and simply say this. You’ve read way way too much into my happiness advocacy. I never said happiness should be your life’s goal, but some here seem to believe it’s not real or relevant. Happiness is real, relevant and a useful part of life. A little icing on the cake if you will. 
 

Be well. If you’re not, consider altering your daily choices. 

 

I think we understand each other.   Some folks are naturally happy go lucky.  .  Some aren’t.  It’s really that simple.  You can’t just do different things and become happy minded.  Some things are out of reach. And getting moreso daily.  
 

I’ll give you another for instance that came to mind.  Once back in the good old pre 2020 days.  I had a pretty bad habit of haunting a local club shop , 2-3 days a week. Usually an hour at lunch. Or occasionally first thing when they opened at 7 if a new club was coming out.  Bought sold and traded many many clubs in that shop. A real old school place. Men being men and all that.  One day I’m rushing to get down there to snap up a new driver that has hit but not on the rack yet ( yes I was bad enough to get preferential treatment like that ). And I pull onto the off ramp to the road the shop was on.  The light stopped me. And a presumably homeless guy was standing there with a sign.   “ Will work for food. I’m not on drugs.  And I’m not dangerous. I’m hungry “.  I immediately felt like trash.  Literal trash. I was rushing to blow $500 ..and this man was hungry.  Something $10 would solve.  
 

I drove past him.  And in front of me was a row of restaurants about a mile long. All sides of the road.  I couldn’t take it. I veered into a chicken joint and ordered a big plate and a tea. And drove the 4 miles round trip to get back to that ramp to hand it to him.  He was most appreciative.  I also gave him money.  I don’t even want to say how much.  Because you never know if the  drugs aspect is true. And I have first hand dope head stories that will fill a novel and won’t be believed. So I know.  
 

I turned and went home. Feeling like garbage. One never gone back to that shop.  Now I won’t say i haven’t  bought a club.  I have.  But I’d say 2 % as often as I was.  It provides nearly no high now.  Then the hard times came and it’s no longer a want or possibility anyway.  The point is this. It’s selfish to chase  that high. My opinion.   None of us deserve it.  I’ll accept it when it’s offered. But  I won’t chase it.   I’ll smile. I’m pleasant. I can be silly.  I enjoy my wife’s company. I adore my son’s events etc.  but I’m not about chasing some artificial feeling.  The truth is too great. Danger to real.  I’m just not wired to be the sheep that laughs.  Pardon the way overused analogy.  I’m the guy in the corner looking for the coyote.  Because I know he’s coming.  It’s just a matter of when. 

 

 

[bscinstnct]

41 minutes ago, Nickb333 said:

I wish you guys well in all aspects of your lives. I’ll bow out of this conversation with a bit of confusion and simply say this. You’ve read way way too much into my happiness advocacy. I never said happiness should be your life’s goal, but some here seem to believe it’s not real or relevant. Happiness is real, relevant and a useful part of life. A little icing on the cake if you will. 
 

Be well. If you’re not, consider altering your daily choices. 

 

 

Some folks have far more adversity to deal with. They have little they can change in “daily choices”

 

Sickness, money issues, subversive families, 

 

Think of people who can barely make ends meet, no choices in upward mobility due to geography, the economy, needing to keep a roof over the heads of family. 

 

it’s not realistic to just say, “alter life choices”. 
 

There are a dozen high pressure, often very negative situations for them to deal with all the time. 
 

You can say that perhaps earlier choices could have been made differently. But that’s water long passed under the bridge and making changes realistically, currently is far more limited for them. 

[Nard_S]

2 hours ago, Nickb333 said:

I wish you guys well in all aspects of your lives. I’ll bow out of this conversation with a bit of confusion and simply say this. You’ve read way way too much into my happiness advocacy. I never said happiness should be your life’s goal, but some here seem to believe it’s not real or relevant. Happiness is real, relevant and a useful part of life. A little icing on the cake if you will. 
 

Be well. If you’re not, consider altering your daily choices. 

 

Yeah I was not meaning on signalling you out, in SM easy to take a comment and run on a tangent with little regard to intents, and at times can do that. My perspective is more salty old dog than most, lol.

Edited July 29, 2024 by Nard_S

[Nard_S]

///

Edited July 29, 2024 by Nard_S

[bladehunter]

5 hours ago, Nickb333 said:

I wish you guys well in all aspects of your lives. I’ll bow out of this conversation with a bit of confusion and simply say this. You’ve read way way too much into my happiness advocacy. I never said happiness should be your life’s goal, but some here seem to believe it’s not real or relevant. Happiness is real, relevant and a useful part of life. A little icing on the cake if you will. 
 

Be well. If you’re not, consider altering your daily choices. 

 

Brother.  ( said in my best hulk  hogan voice 😉. Please don’t take my rambling as an attack or an enemy combatant.  It’s just a topic that inspires emotion.  I mean no harm. Please don’t take any offense.  

Edited July 29, 2024 by bladehunter

[Nickb333]

42 minutes ago, bladehunter said:

Brother.  ( said in my best hulk  hogan voice 😉. Please don’t take my rambling as an attack or an enemy combatant.  It’s just a topic that inspires emotion.  I mean no harm. Please don’t take any offense.  

No worries. You guys are all good. Had I been personally offended, you’d know. 😀 I’m just not qualified to chase anyone down personal rabbit holes. 
 

That said. I did look up happiness in the Webster because I thought I was losing my mind. I doubt anyone was gaslighting me, but some of the comments here confused me as mentioned previously. 
 

happiness

noun

hap·pi·ness ˈha-pē-nəs 

 

Synonyms of happiness

1

a

: a state of well-being and contentment : JOY

b

: a pleasurable or satisfying experience

I wish you every happiness in life.

 

I had the happiness of seeing you—W. S. Gilbert

 

Edited July 29, 2024 by Nickb333

[golferdude54]

Hi to all those who replied to my, I guess you could call it a cry for help, with positive and sometimes polarizing advice, judging on the debate for happiness between some of the posters on this thread.

 

I really appreciate that you were all kind enough to respond. At the time I posted, I was standing outside looking at the stars by myself and wishing that I would see the rest of my life as clearly as I could see those stars. But we all know that's not how life and reality works.

 

The advice that stood out the most to me was being physically active on the process, whatever it could be: working out, cooking, cleaning, practicing golf, classes and studying, volunteering/working, etc. Along with someone saying being home alone and bored was the worst place to be, that's certainly true in my case.

 

I don't know if you guys have seen or experienced firsthand most people in their 20s and teenagers and kids today but they spend so much time on screens like practically over 10 hours everyday. Of course I'm typing this on a screen but I'm currently working on restricting my screen access where I live to school only.

 

I don't own a TV or a even a smartphone, just a phone that texts and calls only along with music and maps. I don't drink or do drugs, I've been sober for almost 5 years (there wasn't a super debilitating drug/drinking problem, just got tired of it one day).

 

I suppose Grayson Murray had a profound effect on me, considering what he went through and what he ultimately did. At the time, I couldn't make sense of it at all. A recent PGA Tour winner multi-millionaire ending his life like that? If it happened to him, what chance do I have? That was the kind of freakout I was having at the time and I guess it spilled over to my existential crisis post here.

[MtlJeff]

As others have said i would also highly recommend getting into an exercise pattern...Going to the gym or for a jog will make you feel better most days. Plus the gym is a good way to meet people and have some dialog in real life. 

 

I assume you are looking for work at the moment?

 

I think once you get more things going on you'll start to feel a lot better about things

 

Being in a new city without a lot of friends and without a job can be very depressing. I think we don't need to oversimplify things----That would be hard on anyone.