Sparking a spouse's (or anyone's) interest in golf

[notgreatnotterrible]

Let me set the stage a little: we have a small family (just 3 of us) and my son (8yo) and I enjoy golfing ~8 rounds/year together but my wife never joins.  He's brought up that he'd like his mom to join sometime as we always have fun doing active things together as a family.  She's never really had an interest in it, and golf has a lot of impediments (it's not fun to be bad when you start, costs/gear to get started can be prohibitive, etc.).  It got me wondering...is there anything you've done that's successfully sparked an interest/made it fun for someone in your family to join you?

 

A few ideas I was considering:

• Pick a comfortable Friday night to play a twilight round at a pretty course near us (they also have a par 3 course) and maybe grab a nice family dinner afterwards
• Let her pick the music (might need to wrestle that away from my son)
• Maybe start her out on just chipping and putting to ease her into it

 

A few other things: it's fine that she doesn't like golf--really!  She has lots of other interests I'm supportive of (including things I've taken up because she wanted me to) and she doesn't need to overlap all of mine/my son's.  I am mostly thinking that this could merely be another fun thing we do together a few times each summer.  We also have a few couples that we may invite out.  She's somewhat athletic--she played team & individual sports growing up so there's at least some athleticism there.

[Poor Mans Ty Webb]

In general, taking someone to the range and helping them learn to bash a driver off a tee is going to hook them, but won't keep them long or ever get them out on a course.

 

Alternatively, helping someone learn the joy that comes from making a stupid little ball go into a stupid little cup will hook them for life.

 

Check out Operation 36.

[ShortGolfer]

Talk to her and let her decide what she wants to do.  You can offer suggestions but listening to her will help a lot.

[Pepperturbo]

45 minutes ago, notgreatnotterrible said:

is there anything you've done that's successfully sparked an interest/made it fun for someone in your family to join you?

When our son was 8, we signed him up for lessons at the club.  Then wife played to 11, I was a 2.  He wasn't all that interested, but followed though, even practiced with other kids at the club.  When the kids club championship arrived, he willingly signed up, I caddied, he came in 2nd.  To say I was proud doesn't accurately speak to how I felt.  Mind you, our course was not easy by any stretch.  The wife and I have always enjoyed playing a Par 3 course once or twice a month.  He has a family, so only plays a long course with us maybe 3 times a year, never took to the game, but he does hit the range for practice, now and again.

 

Having the right temperament, time, and funds for the game is key to progressing.  Many people have the built-in desire to do their best, only golf doesn't coincide with simple desire.  Golf is difficult, demands focus and practice to excel; any level of push works against that and enjoyment.  

Edited April 23 by Pepperturbo

[Warrior42111]

I would say it's very similar to coaching kids in a sport. The below is from my personal experience coaching football (ages 6 through HS)

 

1. Make it fun no matter the age or competition level. Especially just starting out

2. Keep it simple, Maybe the par 3 course for a couple holes then see where to go from there.

3. Make it fun 

4. If there is interest (and if not don't force it) guide them do not instruct them. 

5, Make it fun 

[Cwebb]

Don't do it.

[PedronNiall]

1 hour ago, Poor Mans Ty Webb said:

In general, taking someone to the range and helping them learn to bash a driver off a tee is going to hook them, but won't keep them long or ever get them out on a course.

 

Alternatively, helping someone learn the joy that comes from making a stupid little ball go into a stupid little cup will hook them for life.

 

Check out Operation 36.

 

I like this much better than the common alternatives. My dad beat me with jumper cables until I broke 90 and I just don't think that's going to work for everyone. 

[Hawkeye77]

LOL, no music in any family group we have.

 

I can't relate - my wife has played from an early age, we took our girls out from a very early age.  She's either willing to give it a try or she isn't - have her ride along with the two of you, see what it's all about, go from there. 

[ALX]

This may actually be one of the few times Top-Golf (or a sim golf lounge type place)has some benefit. If there's one near you, go for a family night. She can eat/drink and casually hit some balls, but the important aspect will be her seeing you and your son enjoying it and having fun together. That may be the angle to get her to want to be a part of it.

 

 

[notgreatnotterrible]

7 minutes ago, ALX said:

This may actually be one of the few times Top-Golf (or a sim golf lounge type place)has some benefit. If there's one near you, go for a family night. She can eat/drink and casually hit some balls, but the important aspect will be her seeing you and your son enjoying it and having fun together. That may be the angle to get her to want to be a part of it.

 

Top Golf might work but it's ~1 hr away.  My only concern with a sim (we have some nearby) is my wife might see it as more of a fake experience or akin to a video game.  I am hoping that being outside with some nice weather / golden hour might make it a little more enjoyable as a family activity...like a slightly more active family walk we might otherwise do in the evening.

 

I appreciate the idea.  Something to consider for sure.

[Jraallen]

If you have a top golf near by then 100% give that a few tries. It’s easily the best way to have someone expecting to hate golf walk away pleasantly surprised.

 

Maybe a date night at one of those sim golf places with comfy couches and food/drinks and just whack balls into the screen. 
 

Once she shows some interest you can try the range or something but for someone who’s currently showing no interest, I think your best bet is to find the least golf-ish golf activity you can and hope something sparks.

 

Maybe go find an old tv and a Nintendo Wii with Wii sports lol

 

edit-got distracted writing this and didn’t realize it was like an hour later when I hit post and someone already gave the suggestion in the meantime

Edited April 23 by Jraallen

[bilbry57]

My wife started coming to tournaments and with me as a caddie of sorts she liked it because she walks 5-8 miles a day.  Then 6 years  I got her a few lessons and she played a few executive courses where I caddied for her.  She hasn't played in the past 3 years but she rides with me and I take her to a cool winery afterwards at Suncadia resort in Eastern Wa ( definitely a bribe).  She has the bug again so I'm getting her lessons at the course I work at as a Marshall.  We play for free and it's not busy during the week after 4pm. I think the best idea is to bring her along sometimes when you play.  If she has interest get her lessons my wife improved a lot after a series of 6.

 

Good luck 

[Pepperturbo]

22 hours ago, notgreatnotterrible said:

My only concern with a sim (we have some nearby) is my wife might see it as more of a fake experience or akin to a video game. 

That's more true than ever.  Kinda reminds us of all the gambling on TW's TGL show.  Watched it a few times but haven't been back since.  It's NOT golf to anyone I know.  

Edited April 24 by Pepperturbo

[mshills]

Some good suggestions here. The Missus got interested a couple years ago, which was awesome.

 

I got her a sequence of beginner ladies small group lessons. Was supposed to be up to eight gals, some nights it was just my lady, so she ended up with a private lesson. Nice! The key is I don’t instruct, other than basic guidance on grip, posture, alignment. 
 

Next, we attend every casual late Friday event at our place. We do nine / wine / dine events where we play a quick nine hole shamble with drinks and some food. It’s a great time. She got hooked in the second event — on #3 the first three tee balls were jacked into the woods or worse. She stepped up and pumped one right down the middle to PW distance 💪🏼 Between the shot itself and the feeling of having contributed, she got the bug. 
 

Now we play most Sunday afternoons when the weather is good. It takes me back to customer golf caddying. 🙂 My only goal is to make sure she has fun and wants to play next week. No one loses a ball, and no bad lies. I might tee it up in the fairway and hand her her driver. Sometimes she plays 9 then just chips and putts on the back. Other days she plays 18. 
 

My goal this year is to see if she wants to enter some more organized events at the club. I hope so — we have a great time now and no reason we shouldn’t continue under more real conditions. 
 

Do not instruct. Resist the urge. Just don’t do it!

[CasualLie]

12 hours ago, mshills said:

... The key is I don’t instruct, other than basic guidance on grip, posture, alignment. ...

 

Do not instruct. Resist the urge. Just don’t do it!

 

FWIW, it really depends on the relationship and how you instruct.  My partner caught the golf bug big time two years ago (started experimenting three years ago).  Of course, the biggest difference is she wanted to play/learn.  

 

I teach her all of the time.  I bought her a membership at an indoor place near her office, and I give her a lot of feedback on her videos.  The funny part is she doesn't really listen, so I end up telling her the same things over and over, but I don't care.  She watches a ton of YouTube, so I'm spending time helping her filter out the junk and which "tips" apply to her swing.  Then months later she will "discover" something she needs to do, and I just agree and encourage (even though inside I'm rolling my eyes because I told her about the discovery months before!).

 

I'm not invested in her improvement as something I need.  She sets the goals and I just provide the guidance / guardrails.  She's mostly doing her own discovery.  It's been an interesting last couple of years.  She has a pretty functional swing and can hit driver 180, she loves to play and amazingly can walk 18 holes carrying her own bag 2 or 3 days in a row!  And I've learned through her just how tough it can be for a beginner who gets overloaded with all the information out there.

 

I agree 95% of the time you shouldn't be instructing your significant other, but there is a right way to do it.  I never get frustrated with what she's doing, and keep it fun.  If she gets upset herself because she is having a bad swing day, I just tell her it happens, no big deal, golf is hard, let's see what happens tomorrow.

 

She hasn't fired me yet!

[notgreatnotterrible]

Update: I got her to agree to come out and play a late afternoon/evening round the Friday of Father's Day weekend.  It may have helped that I enticed her (or bribed her, depending on how you see it) with a gift card for a small shopping trip to buy some golf clothes.  We agreed (partly her idea) to do a par 3 course and she'll just chip and putt on the first 9 while she gets comfortable, and then she'll play the full back 9 with me.  I told her it's "just for fun" and we'll have tacos and drinks afterwards.

 

Will update next month to let you know how it goes. Fingers crossed...