You guys were right.....

[kekoa]

So I am referencing comments in threads or actual threads whereby certain members would say that a win or high performance in Junior golf tournament (5-13 yrs old doesn't matter).   The only people who care are the player and his/her parents.  When I would read these comments, I would seriously take offense.  What do you mean my 9 yr old son's win at the US kids regional doesn't matter??  Well, my kid is 15 y/old now and looking back, most of you guys were right.  A win or high finish in a one or two day tournament for boys with yardage <6,600 means squat in the grand scheme of things and has zero bearing on their potential success as a junior golfer.  I can only say this now having watched my son play in multi day (3+) tournaments against older kids on longish courses.

 

I don't admit being wrong much so @leezer99 eat your heart out.  🤣

 

 

[golfdad1]

Perspective really changes over time. The tournaments that we used to think were a big deal are really not a big deal.😂

Edited July 1 by golfdad1

[jacko999]

Hey, growth is realizing your kid’s "Tiger Woods moment" at age nine might’ve just been… a really fun Saturday. Props to you for owning it though

[leezer99]

I’ll take the W but I’ll also always root for your son. He’s respectful and a fierce competitor. 
 

And trust me, he will have tremendous long term success with those qualities. 

[golferdad8]

5 hours ago, kekoa said:

So I am referencing comments in threads or actual threads whereby certain members would say that a win or high performance in Junior golf tournament (5-13 yrs old doesn't matter).   The only people who care are the player and his/her parents.  When I would read these comments, I would seriously take offense.  What do you mean my 9 yr old son's win at the US kids regional doesn't matter??  Well, my kid is 15 y/old now and looking back, most of you guys were right.  A win or high finish in a one or two day tournament for boys with yardage <6,600 means squat in the grand scheme of things and has zero bearing on their potential success as a junior golfer.  I can only say this now having watched my son play in multi day (3+) tournaments against older kids on longish courses.

 

I don't admit being wrong much so @leezer99 eat your heart out.  🤣

 

 

Enjoy the journey! 
 

Ask yourself, how many junior golfers are forever memorialized at the Pebble Beach GC by Caddie Whisperer on IG? 😂

[Llortamaisey]

7 hours ago, kekoa said:

So I am referencing comments in threads or actual threads whereby certain members would say that a win or high performance in Junior golf tournament (5-13 yrs old doesn't matter).   The only people who care are the player and his/her parents.  When I would read these comments, I would seriously take offense.  What do you mean my 9 yr old son's win at the US kids regional doesn't matter??  Well, my kid is 15 y/old now and looking back, most of you guys were right.  A win or high finish in a one or two day tournament for boys with yardage <6,600 means squat in the grand scheme of things and has zero bearing on their potential success as a junior golfer.  I can only say this now having watched my son play in multi day (3+) tournaments against older kids on longish courses.

 

I don't admit being wrong much so @leezer99 eat your heart out.  🤣

 

 

So now that you know, what would you go back in time and tell yourself 6 or 7 years ago?

[Golferdad9]

3 hours ago, Llortamaisey said:

So now that you know, what would you go back in time and tell yourself 6 or 7 years ago?

Not speaking for him but as a parent with a similar journey, it’s go back and enjoy the damn day. Dont worry about the result at all. If there is any important parenting being done it’s just observe and think what long term lessons can I teach him/her but don’t spend 2 seconds worrying about the result. Most of the value is in spending time with your kid and creating memories. If those memories are you getting upset about not doing his/her preshot routine you’re probably not on the right track. 1 other thing, the parents that might seem to be optimizing this journey for their kid (the 7-8 year olds with their own logo and travel caddy etc) probably aren’t. Don’t look to them as models. 

[phillyspecial]

While all that USKG stuff surely does not matter in the grand scheme, what I do fine super interesting is the boys that were winning stuff at 7/8/9 are still the top guys at age 13.  Long way to go still, but I thought that mix would change.  Some have faded, some have surged, but still more or less the same group.  

[MB19]

12 hours ago, kekoa said:

So I am referencing comments in threads or actual threads whereby certain members would say that a win or high performance in Junior golf tournament (5-13 yrs old doesn't matter).   The only people who care are the player and his/her parents.  When I would read these comments, I would seriously take offense.  What do you mean my 9 yr old son's win at the US kids regional doesn't matter??  Well, my kid is 15 y/old now and looking back, most of you guys were right.  A win or high finish in a one or two day tournament for boys with yardage <6,600 means squat in the grand scheme of things and has zero bearing on their potential success as a junior golfer.  I can only say this now having watched my son play in multi day (3+) tournaments against older kids on longish courses.

 

I don't admit being wrong much so @leezer99 eat your heart out.  🤣

 

 

This being said, congratulations on your 15 yo's recent big tournament success.  Long time coming.

[Bizzle80]

3 hours ago, Golferdad9 said:

the parents that might seem to be optimizing this journey for their kid (the 7-8 year olds with their own logo and travel caddy etc) probably aren’t.

 

Hey! My kid has her own logo and is very swagged out...but I have gone with the mentality since she was little that I don't tempt her w ice cream after golf, but with cool stuff she wants to take and use at the course - headcovers, logo balls/bag etc. Plus I have a graphic designer on staff at my office so it wasn't a hard thing to do...and she has a traveling caddy but he goes by dad.

 

Keep it rolling tho @kekoa !

[kekoa]

6 hours ago, Llortamaisey said:

So now that you know, what would you go back in time and tell yourself 6 or 7 years ago?

I would tell myself that the missed shot or putt just wasn't that serious and didn't warrant the negativity.  I've said and did a lot of things during tournaments that I really wish I could take back.  It got to a point where my son either didn't want to play tournaments anymore or would rather his mom take him instead.  About 3 years ago I really took a step back and had to reassess my entire attitude on the course and towards my son.  The very last thing I wanted him to do was quit and I was pushing him towards that end.  I think both my son and I have matured a lot and its really fun out there again.  The stress is still there, but now we handle it in a much more healthy way.  

[jda]

The most important things that I have learned are:

 

Parents cannot care about sports more than the kid.  It never can be about you.

You need to have a relationship with your son/daughter for 50 more years, hopefully.

 

If your kid dominated because they were larger/faster at 9-13 before the other kids caught up, then factor this in.  They can still be doing great but not having as much success when the physical playing field is leveled.

[Tugu]

On 7/1/2025 at 9:28 AM, kekoa said:

So I am referencing comments in threads or actual threads whereby certain members would say that a win or high performance in Junior golf tournament (5-13 yrs old doesn't matter).   The only people who care are the player and his/her parents.  When I would read these comments, I would seriously take offense.  What do you mean my 9 yr old son's win at the US kids regional doesn't matter??  Well, my kid is 15 y/old now and looking back, most of you guys were right.  A win or high finish in a one or two day tournament for boys with yardage <6,600 means squat in the grand scheme of things and has zero bearing on their potential success as a junior golfer.  I can only say this now having watched my son play in multi day (3+) tournaments against older kids on longish courses.

 

I don't admit being wrong much so @leezer99 eat your heart out.  🤣

 

 

Please don't take your original sentiment back. Think of all those Socal kid's parent run IG accounts proclaiming their world champ status!!!😆😅🤣😂 Do you have the heart to tell them it's meaningless?!

Edited July 2 by Tugu

[leezer99]

10 hours ago, Tugu said:

Please don't take your original sentiment back. Think of all those Socal kid's parent run IG accounts proclaiming their world champ status!!!😆😅🤣😂 Do you have the heart to tell them it's meaningless?!

Nah bro, we just say it here online. 🤣

[golferdad8]

On 7/1/2025 at 9:07 AM, phillyspecial said:

While all that USKG stuff surely does not matter in the grand scheme, what I do fine super interesting is the boys that were winning stuff at 7/8/9 are still the top guys at age 13.  Long way to go still, but I thought that mix would change.  Some have faded, some have surged, but still more or less the same group.  

Don’t measure at age 6…or even age 13 - the top 5 players from 13 (or 9th grade) on JGS will likely not be the top 5 by 10-11th grade. Not saying it’s bad to be aim for being top, but there are a lot of other important life skills from age 6 to 16 than being a top golfer (when there’s very little competition). Enjoy the ride & make the best of the opportunities and life lessons from playing golf. 

[Orange Hog]

My daughter's golf coach says it all the time - "nobody cares what you shoot right now other than you and your parents".  She just turned 13 (for context).  And he's spot on.  Recently we ran into one of his long-time students who played high level D1 golf and is now on the LPGA.  As she was coming out of the studio I asked her what she remembered from her junior golf days.  Her response: "I remember the crappy rounds where I shot like 110...but that's pretty much it until I hit high school and started playing in bigger events".

 

I usually do a very brief download with the kids after a tournament to let them answer "what did you enjoy", "what could you have done better" and "do you want to change anything in your practice time".  Aside from that, I couldn't care less about the trophies at this point in time.

[LawGenius305]

On 7/3/2025 at 3:29 PM, Orange Hog said:

My daughter's golf coach says it all the time - "nobody cares what you shoot right now other than you and your parents".  She just turned 13 (for context).  And he's spot on.  Recently we ran into one of his long-time students who played high level D1 golf and is now on the LPGA.  As she was coming out of the studio I asked her what she remembered from her junior golf days.  Her response: "I remember the crappy rounds where I shot like 110...but that's pretty much it until I hit high school and started playing in bigger events".

 

I usually do a very brief download with the kids after a tournament to let them answer "what did you enjoy", "what could you have done better" and "do you want to change anything in your practice time".  Aside from that, I couldn't care less about the trophies at this point in time.

This doesn't change even when they are in college. It moves a little beyond parents into Coaches, teammates, and the teammates parents. Even then, you will have some teammates parents rooting against your kid as long as the team does well.

[argoodman]

My son is 11 years old and smaller than most boys his age. He has a desire to improve at golf, and as his dad, I naturally want to help him succeed. But I’ve come to realize that I can’t do it for him. He already puts enough pressure on himself—he’s becoming more self-driven and is hard on himself at times—and the last thing he needs is more stress coming from me.

 

Like many golfers, I have a Type A personality, always wanting to improve and push forward. That instinct kicks in even stronger when it comes to helping my child, but I have had to remind myself that real growth can’t be rushed. He’ll get to the next level of the game when he is ready. Right now, he enjoys playing golf—and if he chooses to grow as a golfer, that journey is his to take. It’s his path, not mine.

[tatertot]

On 6/30/2025 at 10:21 PM, golfdad1 said:

Perspective really changes over time. The tournaments that we used to think were a big deal are really not a big deal.😂

This is not a golf-specific phenomenon. Sometimes our kids peak early at sports. We should enjoy the moment, and be prepared to move on.

[MahalNeneng]

After seeing many over the years rise and fall/disappear im starting to think that what a kids ranking is after their first year in college may be the truest measuring stick of how the player developed as a junior, that development is really for the next level no?
countless players of the “moment” had theirs

 

someone said count them up when their 25 might be closer.

[LawGenius305]

27 minutes ago, MahalNeneng said:

After seeing many over the years rise and fall/disappear im starting to think that what a kids ranking is after their first year in college may be the truest measuring stick of how the player developed as a junior, that development is really for the next level no?
countless players of the “moment” had theirs

 

someone said count them up when their 25 might be closer.

This is pretty accurate. 

 

I truly believe that most coaches are not good at evaluating talent. I believe JC Deacon is one of the few that excels at evaluating talent. The top programs have been able to stockpile kids on rosters knowing they would have 5 that would excel. Now that those days are gone, the coaches will really have to work to identify talent.

[jda]

2 hours ago, LawGenius305 said:

I truly believe that most coaches are not good at evaluating talent.

 

True in all sports, IME.  In other sports, there are lower level comp coaches that college coaches can lean on for kids with a high success rate.  Comp coach gets to see development, work ethic as well as results from ages 15-18.  Golf is harder with the bifurcated/trifurcated approach to training kids in golf.  It is why a good HS coach can place so many kids since they know the game, the kid and can recommend to a college coach, but many are just bus drivers and clappers.  What is the comp coach equivalent in golf?

 

They coaches who have rep for evaluating talent usually know who to call.

[golferdad8]

16 hours ago, LawGenius305 said:

This is pretty accurate. 

 

I truly believe that most coaches are not good at evaluating talent. I believe JC Deacon is one of the few that excels at evaluating talent. The top programs have been able to stockpile kids on rosters knowing they would have 5 that would excel. Now that those days are gone, the coaches will really have to work to identify talent.

Not to get too off tangent, but JC being a good coach is not enough to win a NCAA Championship. Put him in a cold weather campus & let’s see how well his team can do?! 
 

Seriously, it’s not that hard to identify good talent (esp if the assistant can do some good due diligence). Isn’t the hard part “selling” 16 year olds on why they should verbally commit to a school when the coach can drop them anytime without recourse. Just keep an eye on how many kids Florida drops/has dropped. Imo, the boosters & NIL changed the current dynamics - the next few years will be crazy for everyone. 

[Tugu]

12 hours ago, golferdad8 said:

Seriously, it’s not that hard to identify good talent (esp if the assistant can do some good due diligence). 

My instincts veer towards agreeing with you. But looking at the data, one can only conclude

 

A/ It's near impossible to identify good talent.

Or

B/ College "golf" coaches do not due much genuine due diligence. From what I've witnessed, it's not remotely close to that of basketball or football.

[golferdad8]

1 hour ago, Tugu said:

My instincts veer towards agreeing with you. But looking at the data, one can only conclude

 

A/ It's near impossible to identify good talent.

Or

B/ College "golf" coaches do not due much genuine due diligence. From what I've witnessed, it's not remotely close to that of basketball or football.

You can ID good talent but that doesn’t mean they will perform. similar to running a hedge fund or mutual fund - past performance does not predict future outcomes. After all, this isn’t like basketball or football - good golf is rented & never owned. 😂

[RmoorePE]

On 7/8/2025 at 5:55 AM, MahalNeneng said:

After seeing many over the years rise and fall/disappear im starting to think that what a kids ranking is after their first year in college may be the truest measuring stick of how the player developed as a junior, that development is really for the next level no?
countless players of the “moment” had theirs

 

someone said count them up when their 25 might be closer.

 

I think it is even beyond that. I think that there are phases to each person's development and that as parents we should train our brains to enjoy each of them. My daughter won a lot more at ages 12-14 against the same kids than she does now. It was just pure athleticism and being free. Now she is much more in her head, worrying about scores, coaches etc. I firmly believe that when she is in college and is chasing better players, instead of worrying about the wrong stuff she will have another growth in her game. But there is no way for a college coach to find that out. She plays with the daughter of a former Pro (small tours) and he always tells me: "Your daughter is going to be a true diamond in the rough for whatever coach gets her." (As she chips it over the green for the 3rd time).

 

Looking back, had I known what I know now, I could have easily just enjoyed that stage and knew there would be tough sledding ahead.

 

There is a girl who I coached in AAU basketball, she was a good player in high school, a 6'-1" post, and went to a small D3. Based on her "give a crap" level in HS I figured she would flame out, but after a couple of rough seasons, her body thinned out a bit, her speed increased a bit and more importantly she gained perspective on her game and how much fun she had getting better. She became a dominant player on her D3 as a Junior and Senior. She just accepted a grad student full ride (tuition, room and board) offer plus $40k NIL cash up front or her 5th year for a small D1 in Maryland (I believe). Her "journey" looked to be over when she graduated high school, but maturity, body composition etc changes pushed her to an incredibly impressive level.

 

 

[Adornus]

This thread is so spot on, and my wife and I have really enjoyed the knowledge this community posts (as a lurker the last couple of years).  My son is 7 and we're going to USKG Worlds for the first time this year (and he's essentially qualified for next year due to scores and PS).  He is so excited to experience what he's watched hundreds of times on The Short Game since we stumbled on it when he was 2.5 and was obsessed ever since.

Before each tournament, we ask him three questions:

1. Does it matter what we shoot? (no)

2. Are we going to have fun? (yes)

3. Is it okay if we have bad shots? (yes)

 

The crazy thing is - going this year, even though he's done extremely well in his local tour - his expectations are super reasonable.  "I'd like to finish top 60, but if I don't that's okay."  I really think it's a result of all the reading and tactics we've tried to take from learning from this board.

 

So thank you to all the older members who've been through the ringer, and really allowed some younger families to learn from your experience (and likely mistakes).  The most important thing - the only thing that matters in all of this is the fun they get out of it.

Edited July 15 by Adornus

[Tugu]

4 hours ago, Adornus said:

This thread is so spot on, and my wife and I have really enjoyed the knowledge this community posts (as a lurker the last couple of years).  My son is 7 and we're going to USKG Worlds for the first time this year (and he's essentially qualified for next year due to scores and PS).  He is so excited to experience what he's watched hundreds of times on The Short Game since we stumbled on it when he was 2.5 and was obsessed ever since.

Before each tournament, we ask him three questions:

1. Does it matter what we shoot? (no)

2. Are we going to have fun? (yes)

3. Is it okay if we have bad shots? (yes)

 

The crazy thing is - going this year, even though he's done extremely well in his local tour - his expectations are super reasonable.  "I'd like to finish top 60, but if I don't that's okay."  I really think it's a result of all the reading and tactics we've tried to take from learning from this board.

 

So thank you to all the older members who've been through the ringer, and really allowed some younger families to learn from your experience (and likely mistakes).  The most important thing - the only thing that matters in all of this is the fun they get out of it.

Tell him if he wins, that he can call himself a WORLD CHAMPION.🤣 Sad thing is I'm actually not kidding. Quick check of a couple of Socal IG accounts and you'll see exactly this.

 

Fun? He needs to be thinking about recruitment, NOW! Check the strength of field immediately.

 

Scoring only matters if it gets him into invitationals. Then he can basically stop playing altogether if he can beat the CCA and ride the strength of field bump.

 

As for shots, be the parent that follows him around and videos and then posts every decent moment. Let him know you are there, so he knows not to f**k it up FOR YOU. Which at the end of the day is what it's all about. 

 

On a serious note, I coached a girl who was player of the month twice this year and ROTY in her conference. Her dad actually threatened to WD her repeatedly from AJGAs if she wouldn't listen to his strategy and club selection during rounds. Took her passport away so she couldn't get back to USA til he approved of her golf swing. Then finally took it one step too far by attempting to get the coach to force her to listen to his strategy.

 

Funnily enough, she can't wait to quit golf. Sad thing is, she can really ball.

Edited July 15 by Tugu

[LawGenius305]

40 minutes ago, Tugu said:

Tell him if he wins, that he can call himself a WORLD CHAMPION.🤣 Sad thing is I'm actually not kidding. Quick check of a couple of Socal IG accounts and you'll see exactly this.

 

Fun? He needs to be thinking about recruitment, NOW! Check the strength of field immediately.

 

Scoring only matters if it gets him into invitationals. Then he can basically stop playing altogether if he can beat the CCA and ride the strength of field bump.

 

As for shots, be the parent that follows him around and videos and then posts every decent moment. Let him know you are there, so he knows not to f**k it up FOR YOU. Which at the end of the day is what it's all about. 

 

On a serious note, I coached a girl who was player of the month twice this year and ROTY in her conference. Her dad actually threatened to WD her repeatedly from AJGAs if she wouldn't listen to his strategy and club selection during rounds. Took her passport away so she couldn't get back to USA til he approved of her golf swing. Then finally took it one step too far by attempting to get the coach to force her to listen to his strategy.

 

Funnily enough, she can't wait to quit golf. Sad thing is, she can really ball.

You had me laughing then crying.

[Golfingdawg19]

On 7/8/2025 at 8:55 AM, MahalNeneng said:

After seeing many over the years rise and fall/disappear im starting to think that what a kids ranking is after their first year in college may be the truest measuring stick of how the player developed as a junior, that development is really for the next level no?
countless players of the “moment” had theirs

 

someone said count them up when their 25 might be closer.

My daughter is getting ready to be a senior and is committed a D1 college. On June 1st of last year she was ranked 170 in her class and had an index of .7 in JGS. She only had mi major offers because of this. On June 1st of this year she was 32nd in her class and had an index of -4.44. So she made quite a jump in one year. We got her with a mental coach and she learned to get out of her own way. The ball striking was always there it was the mental part of the game that held her back. If she would have been ranked 32 going into her junior year, her offers would have looked totally different. Under the current system,

coaches set their boards based on where the kids are on June 15th before their junior year. That leaves two years of HS left to mature and get better. I think it’s crazy to judge them that soon. Some of these kids get worse after they commit and others take off and do like my daughter. They coaches are gambling that the kids will continue to get better but they don’t know that. With the portal, they can always process them out if they don’t produce like they want and also go get players they missed on from the smaller schools. So the new rules actually help

these coaches who may have messed up on evaluations.