Losing my love for the game.

[PJE]

Some people need to, or should take, a break. Like for a month. Walk away and reset. That might be beneficial for you. 
In a similar way,  if you can get yourself to feel privileged to have the opportunity to be on the course, it will reset the oppressiveness you’re experiencing. 
Finally, regarding the swing mechanics for which you can’t find a feel or thought, stop thinking about them. This might be hard to do, but try playing target only, without a swing thought. Play in the moment. You may hit some poor shots but you’ll hit some really good shots too. 
 

[Whatnogarnish]

Oooof. Read this and can relate, OP, if you can, maybe join a club or league night.. get to know more people in the game… that whole birds of the same feather type deal. I’m lucky to have a boss and buddies who love the game. 
 

38yrs this year. Pre-teen kiddos. Back rehab 6 months ago. Feeling the hereditary IBS around the corner... Went to get fit the new g440 and seeing my carry drop 30 yards was a real heartbreaker. I have old foresight data from just two years ago showing 286 avg carry with the driver. Lucky to get 270 with roll right now. 
 

Never been a gym guy, but bought some gym shoes, starting to hit the gym, taking good supplements and things feel better. Goal is to get back into an X-flex next year. 

[otto6457]

Maybe my experience will provide some perspective.

 

I have been playing competitive golf for over 50 years.   My first tournament was in 1969 and I was twelve years old.  I played in high school, college, and on the mini tour grind for several years.  Went to Q-school twice and failed both times.  I lost 30K in sponsorship money and it took me six years to pay every penny back.  Golf cost me a wife and more money than I can even estimate.  It's been the first thing I think about every morning and the last thing I think of at night.  Every good friend I've ever had is because of golf.

 

This season is probably my last.  It's been a journey of a lifetime.  There were so many times I quit. Usually for a week or two, I even quit once for five years.  But this game just drags me back no matter how much I think I've had enough.  In 2023 I was diagnosed with prostate cancer and my only question was that I wanted to know if I could postpone my surgery until after the U.S. Senior-Am qualifier.  Doctor said no.  He told me I could start light practice again four weeks after my catheter came out.  I was putting two days after the catheter came out.  Seriously, I was putting at the course in an adult diaper.  My entire life revolved around getting healed as soon as possible so I could get ready for the 2024 season.  I worked as hard as I ever have to get my game back in shape.  I failed to qualify in all three qualifiers I entered and I wasn't very competitive in any of them.  I doubled down for the 2025 season and I've failed at two qualifiers and I've withdrawn from the other two I had signed up for.  It seems father time has finally won. 

 

My golf career has flown by so fast.  I still feel like I'm 30 in my head, but my body feels slow, sore, and tired.  The focus is not as sharp, the eyes aren't as good.  The consistency is inconsistent and the swing is lacking pop.  Father time is undefeated and he will always win in the end.   I can't stand the fact that my competitive career is coming to an end but it happens to every player.

 

I say all this in hopes that you will take some time to think back on why you started playing this silly game.  What drew you in and what was it that made you excited about hitting a little white ball when ever you got a chance.  Because that is the golf that matters. It's not the score you shoot, or the equipment you love.  It's the joy of spending time in the outdoors.  Hopefully with some friends, just having a grand time slapping a golf ball around and having fun.   Step away if you need to.  If you want to play, go play.  If not, go do something else.  You get to decide how much, or how little golf matters to you.  Golf will always be there waiting for you.  

 

But take it from me, if you truly love this game, you are going to miss it eventually.  I am already missing it and I'm still playing.  My only regret is that I took it for granted for so long.  I don't regret a second of the thousands and thousands of hours I spent on the game, all the time, money, and energy I put in, or the consequences of chasing my dreams.   Time flies by so fast.  Do what you love as much as you can.  If it's golf, embrace the frustration that's built into the game, and laugh when it wins.  If it's not golf, embrace whatever it is and give it all you have.  

 

Good luck on your journey around the sun and enjoy the ride.

[golferdude54]

Stop hitting balls. It's the mishits making you feel bad, along with the pain from swinging wrong. Nowadays we have access to low point feedback training aids (divotboard) and foam golf balls that stick to a velcro taped to the face (impact improver) that won't make you feel like crap for mishitting it.

 

You work on perfecting P1 first then take it back to P2 and swing through to your finish from P2, then move on to P3, then finally the full swing. There's no instant gratification on the journey towards hitting the sweet spot and ground exactly where you want it with the swing of your dreams with the low point/sweet spot training aid combo I suggested. But... When you do get there and hit your first real shot, you'll fall in love again 100%. 

 

Edited July 23 by golferdude54

[biker74]

2 hours ago, golferdude54 said:

Stop hitting balls. It's the mishits making you feel bad, along with the pain from swinging wrong. Nowadays we have access to low point feedback training aids (divotboard) and foam golf balls that stick to a velcro taped to the face (impact improver) that won't make you feel like crap for mishitting it.

 

You work on perfecting P1 first then take it back to P2 and swing through to your finish from P2, then move on to P3, then finally the full swing. There's no instant gratification on the journey towards hitting the sweet spot and ground exactly where you want it with the swing of your dreams with the low point/sweet spot training aid combo I suggested. But... When you do get there and hit your first real shot, you'll fall in love again 100%. 

 

That position focus you mention has ruined more than helped. It’s a golf swing, not a golf hit 

[Hawkeye77]

22 hours ago, ZGriswold83 said:

I ran across the famous cargo shorts NTC video early on in my 'I'm going to fix this myself' phase. His concepts made sense to me, I bought 3 or 4 of his series. I couldn't turn it into anything, except more searching. He did change my perception of what makes a good golf swing. 

You could turn it into setting up a lesson or two . . . . start with a live remote and go from there.

[knock it close]

19 hours ago, PJE said:

Some people need to, or should take, a break. Like for a month. Walk away and reset.

I actually don't get how you 12 month golfers do it, ya winter is too long up north here but it is a nice reprieve and reset.  

[knock it close]

*duplicate

Edited July 23 by knock it close

[Hawkeye77]

2 hours ago, knock it close said:

I actually don't get how you 12 month golfers do it, ya winter is too long up north here but it is a nice reprieve and reset.  

 

Winter is BS, I dream of playing golf even 9 solid months out of a year.

[Ghostwedge]

18 hours ago, knock it close said:

I actually don't get how you 12 month golfers do it, ya winter is too long up north here but it is a nice reprieve and reset.  

Well, we don't play every day....   ; )

[knock it close]

16 hours ago, Hawkeye77 said:

 

Winter is BS, I dream of playing golf even 9 solid months out of a year.

9 would be awesome, need more than 6 but I do not need 12. 

[Hawkeye77]

15 minutes ago, knock it close said:

9 would be awesome, need more than 6 but I do not need 12. 

 

If I ever get to the point I can't get out and follow my bird dogs, I'll be happy to have 12, lol, but some outdoor activities in even golfable weather in the fall/early winter take priority over golf. 

[WesternRacing]

19 hours ago, knock it close said:

I actually don't get how you 12 month golfers do it, ya winter is too long up north here but it is a nice reprieve and reset.  

 

I would never move anywhere that I couldn’t play golf, or similar outdoor activities, year round.  I grew up in cold Northeast winters and I’d rather eat a bushel of hemlock than ever move back somewhere that has a real winter.  If my feet ever touch snow again somebody’s moved my corpse.

[GoldenEagle69]

I've been through the struggles recently as well. I was shooting a lot of mid-80's and took a month off. Didnt think about golf or watch any golf outside of Sundays. Came back and shot three rounds straight in the 70's and then got serious about golf again and now struggling to break 80 again.

 

Sometimes you need to let it go. But, my advice to the OP is to find a way to simplify your swing. Try some range sessions where you can simplify it. Get down to 2-3 swing thoughts on the range before you go out and play. Good luck man!

[ZGriswold83]

I just want to say thanks to everyone who has commented.  Now, I don't think it's me losing my love of golf, it's the frustration of actively trying to improve and not really seeing results. I've had several members of this community offer help and I'm always grateful of those that take any amount of time to help a total stranger on the internet.   

[596]

The only way I play golf year round is to have other things to do when not golfing. I golf 3 sometimes 4 days a week year round.  3 days a week I cycle. Used to race triathlons but after 2 titanium hips I'm only cycling now. 50 or so miles on my non golfing days. In the evenings I fish. 3 to 4 evenings a week out in my canoe.  Golf is only part of my retirement.  It really does help having more then 1 hobby.  

[WesternRacing]

2 hours ago, GoldenEagle69 said:

I've been through the struggles recently as well. I was shooting a lot of mid-80's and took a month off. Didnt think about golf or watch any golf outside of Sundays. Came back and shot three rounds straight in the 70's and then got serious about golf again and now struggling to break 80 again.

 

Sometimes you need to let it go. But, my advice to the OP is to find a way to simplify your swing. Try some range sessions where you can simplify it. Get down to 2-3 swing thoughts on the range before you go out and play. Good luck man!

 

100% this.  My game got better when I made it simpler and more repeatable, rather than constantly thinking about whether my technique was textbook or not.  I dropped from a 9 to a 4 in less than a year.  I’m back up to a 5.5 mostly due to back problems, but whenever I start to struggle or feel the desire to hunt for a technique solution, the first thing I do is try to simplify everything I do on the golf course.  I recently went back to square and had two nines at even par and one at two over.

[PedronNiall]

On 7/22/2025 at 10:57 AM, ZGriswold83 said:

If anyone has any advice, please share it. I can't believe the thought of quitting golf has even crossed my mind. I've poured so much time, energy and money into trying to improve only to fall flat on my face over and over again, I don't know if I can get up anymore. 

 

Love and enjoy the things you do, my guy. Never know when you're on your last days or weeks or years on this earth, so make the most out of it and don't feel like sunk costs need to decide what you keep doing, and that applies to more than just golf. Have a freaking blast. 

 

To golf specifically, your posts make it clear some way or another the instructors you've been to have missed on teaching you the fundamentals or ensuring they're in place before going off onto more technical aspects. There's no limit to how frustrating the game can be when the basics aren't taught properly; ask me how I know. Everyone should be getting started by being shown the keys of how to hold the club and set up the body so everything can work together in an efficient way, so there aren't any blockers to teaching the body how to move correctly, just as in any other sport.

 

Since you've already been pointed to him, Monte is a great choice to help you get there. Whomever you find to work with, they should make it feel simple, not like some complex, esoteric puzzle only they have the secrets to solving. Find someone who helps simplify things so the game can be a source of fun escape and healthy challenges. 

[stryper]

On 7/22/2025 at 10:24 AM, coreyhr said:

Haha. I'm kind of in the same boat right now, confidence wise. I'm 39 and am now at the point where I'm starting to see performance decline in my game. Mine isn't due to swing issues or fundamentals, like it appears you're currently struggling with. Mine is due to finally seeing a difference in the distance department. The drop off happened really quickly it seems. I play a lot with guys in their mid-20's and hitting a 6 iron in while they're hitting PW is starting to chip away at my confidence. I can still play at a high level, it's just getting much harder to do so. I know this will only get worse as I crest that 40 mark, so I think that's in the back of my mind as well. 

Not to jack the OP, but your issue sounds swing related, not age related.  40 is nothing, and you shouldn’t have to worry about that marker.  Find the power leak and you should be right back where you want to be.

[Jtgavigan]

I agree. I am 54 and about as fast as I have ever been...

[JimMLINY]

I'm lucky. 

One of my grade school pals and youth teammate on championship baseball and football teams played and is a PGA Teaching Professional. 

He doesn't play nearly as much when he was on tour, but we manage to get in a half dozen charity events a season with his cousin who is a 6 handicap and have a blast.

No drinking on or off course other than water and Gatorade.

Just tales of yore and good golf.

We get a kick out of losing in best ball scramble play when we card a sub 60 and lose to a 52 to 56 on a par 70 to 72 when we saw balls flying all over and participants hitting out of our fairway to theirs.

But, on my request he will give me a lesson or two while playing on all aspects of driving, fairway play with woods, irons and wedges.

I am now able to have a short game and use a 60° lob wedge to put ball close to pin because of him.

I am missing L5 S1 so my swing is not normal, but he has done wonders with it.

 

Find some guys you played with at 16 and go out, have some fun and fall back in love.

[Naptime]

Left the game for a decade in middle age and came back to it eventually.  After that long your body gets stiff/achy and your ability to replicate your old swing is questionable.  But that's just life.

[ShortGolfer]

I had a lot of anxiety about being able to swing driver.  I played on a short course with narrow fairways that only had one hole that had wide fairways. 

I talked to a guy who said it was the worst course ever after telling his wife to put down 12 strokes on the 2nd hole.  He only plays it because it is his wife's favorite course.

 

I found a new beginner course to play.  The Flat Nine in Hartford.  It has two sets of tees. Whites and Seniors.  If I top my drive I can pick up the ball and try again from the Seniors without slowing down play.

I was able to find a new driver swing in just one week!  I found a set of YouTube videos I could understand that answered all my questions.  I watched the over and over so I didn't miss anything.

I was able to squeeze in twenty practice sessions and three rounds of golf in one week to learn the new swing. Two on the Flat Nine and another 18 hole round on a private course.

Success!  I now have a consistent driver swing that goes well past the Senior Tees. 😃

Sometimes the ball flight is a little high and I lose distance but as long as it is in the fairway I'm happy with that.  Now the goal is to play a lot before winter so I can setup driver automatically without thinking about it.

 

It sounds like you need to find someone who can teach you.  I used to teach older adult men and it sometimes requires a lot of patience on the part of both the student and the teacher.

I used to tell myself I literally get paid by the hour.  To me it wasn't a waste of time if someone was willing to learn.  Maybe that is why it only took me one week? 😀

 

I figure it is normal to have a lot of doubts.  I had a brain stem stroke 25 years ago and continually surprise myself on what I have been able to learn!

My goal was initially to be able to play a short course from the forward tees.  That is what I told my fitter.

I can now walk 18 holes in the heat and humidty and make consistent swings to play quickly!

Yesterday I spent ten hours working on my rose garden.  Normally I don't have enough energy to prune that many roses but I think my recent golf success helped!

I'm downsizing my rose garden to have more time playing golf. Giving away roses for free to those willing to dig them out of the ground.

I happy to give away the easy care roses and keep the fussy high maintenance roses for my garden.

 

 

 

 

Edited July 27 by ShortGolfer