Actual Calls Made to Public Courses

[profsmitty]

A friend sent this to me. I never do this but its a really slow, very cold day.

 

Staff: Golf course, may I help you?

Caller: What are your green fees?

Staff: 38 dollars.

Caller: Does that include golf?

 

Staff: Golf course, may I help you?

Caller: Yes, I need to get some information from you. First, is this your correct phone number?

 

Staff: Golf course, may I help you?

Caller: Yes, we have a tee time for two weeks from Friday. What's the weather going to be like that day?

 

Staff: Golf course, may I help you?

Caller: Yes, I had a tee time for this afternoon but I'm running late. Can you still get me out early?

 

Staff: Golf course, may I help you?

Caller: Yes, do you have one of those areas where you can buy a bucket of golf balls and hit them for practice?

Staff: You mean a driving range?

Caller: No, that's not it.

 

Staff: Golf course, may I help you?

Caller: Yes, I'd like to get a tee time tomorrow between 12 o'clock and noon.

Staff: Between 12 o'clock and noon?

Caller: Yes.

Staff: We'll try to squeeze you in.

 

Staff: Golf course, may I help you?

Caller: Do you have any open tee times around 10 o'clock?

Staff: Yes, we have one at 10:15.

Caller: What's the next time after that?

Staff: We have one at 10:22.

Caller: We'll take that one. It will be a bit warmer.

 

Staff: Golf course, may I help you?

Caller: How much to play golf today?

Staff: 25 to walk, 38 with a cart.

Caller: 38 dollars?

Staff: No, 38 yen.

 

Staff: Golf course, may I help you?

Caller: What do you have for tee times tomorrow?

Staff: What time would you like?

Caller: What times do you have?

Staff: What time of the day?

Caller: Any time.

Staff: Morning or afternoon?

Caller: Whenever.

Staff: We have 16 times open in the morning and 20 open in the afternoon. Would you like me to read the whole list?

Caller: No, I don't think any of those times will work for me.

 

Staff: Golf course, may I help you?

Caller: Do you have a dress code?

Staff: Yes, we do. We require soft spikes.

Caller: How about clothes?

Staff: Yes, you have to wear clothes.

 

Staff: Golf course, may I help you?

Caller: Yes, do you have a driving range there?

Staff: Yes.

Caller: How much for a bucket of large balls?

Staff: Sorry, we're all out of large balls. But we can give you twice as many small balls for the same price.

 

Staff: Golf course, may I help you?

Caller: Can I get a tee time for tomorrow?

Staff: Sure, what time would you like?

Caller: Something between 9 o'clock and 10 o'clock. In the morning, if possible.

 

Staff: Golf course, may I help you?

Caller: Do you rent golf clubs there?

Staff: Yes, they're 25 dollars.

Caller: How much to rent a bag?

 

Staff: Golf course, may I help you?

Caller: Yes, my husband just called me on his cell phone and told me he's on the 15th hole. How many more holes does he have to play before he gets to the 18th?

 

Staff: Golf course, may I help you?

Caller: Yes, do you have a driving range there?

Staff: Yes.

Caller: How much for a large bucket?

Staff: Four dollars.

Caller: Does that include the balls?

 

Staff: Golf course, may I help you?

Caller: Do you have a twilight rate?

Staff: Yes, it's 15 dollars after 2 o'clock.

Caller: And what time does that start?

 

Staff: Golf course, may I help you?

Caller: Yes, I'd like some info about your golf course.

Staff: OK, what would you like to know?

Caller: I don't know, that's why I called.

 

Staff: Golf course, may I help you?

Caller: My kids just came home with pockets full of range balls and said they stole

them from your driving range. Would you like to buy them back?

[MadGolfer76]

Ha!

Golf course: Hello, "_____" country club.

Caller: How much are your fees?

GC: 50 with cart.

Caller: I would like to talk you down to 30.

GC: Sure, why not...

[TheMackDaddy]

[media=]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0-33QC7xI-g[/media]
I love this video

[Birdies4Days]

haha some of these are just classic

[Sean2]

Thanks for the laugh. :-)

[H34D SH01]

bahaha those are great

[scomac2002]

I'm a starter/marshal at a local course. We book the tee times. I swear I've had a couple of those exact calls in the past year or two.

The line asking for tee times and of the 38 available, none were suitable has happened to me...more than once.

[+Church]

Oh this is awesome! I work at a hotel and trust me, it's just as bad. I just wish I could be a smart a** back to them.
Thanks for sharing!

[ncblademan]

I work at a club and I get the same calls to. My favorite is.

Staff: Pro Shop how can I help you?
Caller: Yes, I would like to get a time around 10 tomorrow morning.
Staff: I have 9:50
Caller: No, that is to early.
Staff: The next time I have is 10:50.
Caller: Are you sure you dont have anything around 10.

You just want to reach throught he phone and choke them.

[Bulle Rock Golf]

[color=#282828]""Staff: Golf course, may I help you?[/color]
[color=#282828]Caller: Yes, we have a tee time for two weeks from Friday. What's the weather going to be like that day?""

[u][b]THIS.[/b][/u]

hahahaha~ Although what's even better is when one of the RESIDENTS UP THE STREETS CALLS DOWN, makes a tee time, and proceeds to ask me what the weather is like here.....[/color]

[Sean2]

[quote name='Bulle Rock Golf' timestamp='1356613056' post='6122845']
[color=#282828]""Staff: Golf course, may I help you?[/color]
[color=#282828]Caller: Yes, we have a tee time for two weeks from Friday. What's the weather going to be like that day?""

[u][b]THIS.[/b][/u]

hahahaha~ Although what's even better is when one of the RESIDENTS UP THE STREETS CALLS DOWN, makes a tee time, and proceeds to ask me what the weather is like here.....[/color]
[/quote]

I thought it was bad when they asked when it was going to stop raining on the day they want to play golf...let alone what the weather was going to be in two weeks. :-)

[italianstallion]

[quote name='Bulle Rock Golf' timestamp='1356613056' post='6122845']
[color=#282828]""Staff: Golf course, may I help you?[/color]
[color=#282828]Caller: Yes, we have a tee time for two weeks from Friday. What's the weather going to be like that day?""

[u][b]THIS.[/b][/u]

hahahaha~ Although what's even better is when one of the RESIDENTS UP THE STREETS CALLS DOWN, makes a tee time, and proceeds to ask me what the weather is like here.....[/color]
[/quote]

This one was always my favorite. I'd pause, look out the window, and tell them "its raining." In conjunction, I enjoy the people who come pouring into the pro shop during a downpour "how long you think this is going to last?" or "do you guys have the radar up?" One time I went back into the shop after blowing the horns, and this guy is standing behind my counter by the cash drawer looking at the radar on the computer monitors:

Me: Sir what are you doing?
Man: Checking the weather.
Me: Please get on the other side of the counter. I don't come to your work and take a seat behind your desk.

Granted I was a little short but that was the straw that broke the camels back for the "whats the radar look like" people.

[Johnny Biarritz]

Calls get worse at a facility with more than one course...let's assume for the following interaction the two courses are East and West...

Me: Good morning, WYX Golf Club
Member (lady): Umm...yes, do you have any tee times on the West course around 10am??
Me: No, ma'am, the earliest we have on the West is 1045, but we have a 10 on the East.
Member: Uhh..OK, hold on...(yells to husband)HONEY!! They don't have a 10 on the West, just on the East,,
Husband: [yells back something that can't be understood]
Member: Oh,OK...(back to me)What do you have on the West before 10?
Me: Well, ma'am, we have a 937 on the West.
Member: Uhh..OK, hold on...(yells to husband)HONEY!! They have a 937 on the West..
Husband: [again, yells something back that can't really be understood]
Member: OK...(back to me)No, the 937 is too early...what else do you have on the East course?
Me: Well, we have the 10 o'clock, also have one at 945, 952, 1007 and 1015.
Member: Uhh..OK, hold on...(yells to husband)HONEY!! They have a 10 o'clock on the East course.
Husband: [can't understand]
Member: OK, we'll take the 10 on the East course.
Me: OK, we'll see you at 10. (as I'm ready to choke the life out of both of them)

That's a true story right there. There have been ones worse than that because the company I worked for also managed 2 other clubs in town with 3 courses. People have decided they didn't want the 10am or whatever and want me to look up one of the other courses. The things you hear at a golf course...

[flip flappy]

[quote name='italianstallion' timestamp='1356648129' post='6125695']
This one was always my favorite. I'd pause, look out the window, and tell them "its raining." In conjunction, I enjoy the people who come pouring into the pro shop during a downpour "how long you think this is going to last?" or "do you guys have the radar up?" One time I went back into the shop after blowing the horns, and this guy is standing behind my counter by the cash drawer looking at the radar on the computer monitors:

Me: Sir what are you doing?
Man: Checking the weather.
Me: Please get on the other side of the counter. I don't come to your work and take a seat behind your desk.

Granted I was a little short but that was the straw that broke the camels back for the "whats the radar look like" people.
[/quote]

I certainly understand you not wanting someone who doesn't work at the club behind the counter, but I see no harm in asking for you to pull up the radar. And yes, I ask the guys where I play to pull up the radar if the weather is suspect.

[R Hagan]

When I worked at a course a foursome was being really slow and had to be nudged a few times. When they came in to complain they dropped this gem: "I don't know why we kept being asked to speed up. There was a threesome behind us the whole time."
There's not much you can say to that.

[Cwing]

Great stuff!

[Bulle Rock Golf]

[quote name='italianstallion' timestamp='1356648129' post='6125695']
[quote name='Bulle Rock Golf' timestamp='1356613056' post='6122845']
[color=#282828]""Staff: Golf course, may I help you?[/color]
[color=#282828]Caller: Yes, we have a tee time for two weeks from Friday. What's the weather going to be like that day?""

[u][b]THIS.[/b][/u]

hahahaha~ Although what's even better is when one of the RESIDENTS UP THE STREETS CALLS DOWN, makes a tee time, and proceeds to ask me what the weather is like here.....[/color]
[/quote]

This one was always my favorite. I'd pause, look out the window, and tell them "its raining." In conjunction, I enjoy the people who come pouring into the pro shop during a downpour "how long you think this is going to last?" or "do you guys have the radar up?" One time I went back into the shop after blowing the horns, and this guy is standing behind my counter by the cash drawer looking at the radar on the computer monitors:

Me: Sir what are you doing?
Man: Checking the weather.
Me: Please get on the other side of the counter. I don't come to your work and take a seat behind your desk.

Granted I was a little short but that was the straw that broke the camels back for the "whats the radar look like" people.
[/quote]

Hahahaha - Nailed it with folks coming back to check the radar.

Best 2 responses to give folks:

1) I'm a terrible Clairvoyant.

2) [b]Scattered Sunshine[/b] all day. You can never be wrong with Scattered Sunshine.

[apprenti23]

I have NO IDEA why golfers think that the clubs have super special weather detection systems or frost lifting detectors, what a joke.


My new years resolution is to keep a journal of every ridiculous situation I encounter over the next year. My facility has a reservation center that books times for us; however, we still get plenty.

[italianstallion]

[quote name='apprenti23' timestamp='1356706379' post='6128641']
I have NO IDEA why golfers think that the clubs have super special weather detection systems or frost lifting detectors, what a joke.


My new years resolution is to keep a journal of every ridiculous situation I encounter over the next year. My facility has a reservation center that books times for us; however, we still get plenty.
[/quote]

Some of them do (very few), but most have nothing more than the maps someone can pull up on their smartphone. I don't know, I think that maybe as humans people need some sort of confirmation of something. I can't tell you how many times somebody asked me what the radar looks like, I give them some sort of description, and they tell me "yeah that's what I saw on my phone."

[KevCarter]

Caller: Do you have the Weather Channel radar up? What does it say?

Pro Shop: Yes, looks like thunder storms until 3:00 or so.

Caller: Yep, That's what the Weather Channel radar on my computer says too. Do you have any openings around 2:00?

[ukalum]

Completely idiotic. Are we in 3rd grade still?

[profsmitty]

[quote name='ukalum' timestamp='1357175904' post='6156497']
Completely idiotic. Are we in 3rd grade still?
[/quote]
Imagine, after only 58 posts, he figured out what it's taken some of us 1580 posts to figure out.

Come to think about it, I was never still in the third grade.

[Imp]

[QUOTE][color=#282828]Staff: Golf course, may I help you?[/color]
[color=#282828]Caller: Do you have a dress code?[/color]
[color=#282828]Staff: Yes, we do. We require soft spikes.[/color]
[color=#282828]Caller: How about clothes?[/color]
[color=#282828]Staff: Yes, you have to wear clothes.[/color]

[color=#282828]Staff: Golf course, may I help you?[/color]
[color=#282828]Caller: Yes, do you have a driving range there?[/color]
[color=#282828]Staff: Yes.[/color]
[color=#282828]Caller: How much for a bucket of large balls?[/color]
[color=#282828]Staff: Sorry, we're all out of large balls. But we can give you twice as many small balls for the same price.[/QUOTE][/color]

[color=#282828]I like this guy. [/color]

[Dizz]

One of the best I've ever heard:

GC: Pro Shop this is Drew
Caller: Is this the pro shop?
CG: Yes
Caller: Is your course open?
CG: Yes
Caller: For golfers?
CG: No, for the squirrels to collect nuts

[Sean2]

^^^^
Caller: Oh, you have Oak trees then?
GC: Yes, and maples too.

[goplutus]

Staff: Golf course, may I help you?
Caller: Yes, do you have one of those areas where you can buy a bucket of golf balls and hit them for practice?
Staff: You mean a driving range?
Caller: No, that's not it.

Legit question; about a short game area i'm sure.

And you weather people, is it terribly odd to suspect a business that relies on good weather to have a more relevant opinion on how it's shaping up for the day at their specific location? At least in the Midwest, drive 20 miles north or south and a terrential rain might miss the other spot completely.

[Teamoni]

[quote name='profsmitty' timestamp='1357177638' post='6156689']
[quote name='ukalum' timestamp='1357175904' post='6156497']
Completely idiotic. Are we in 3rd grade still?
[/quote]
Come to think about it, I was never still in the third grade.
[/quote]

Teamoni likes this.

[BNich0622]

Working in a golf shop at a private country club, you won't believe some of the calls we receive from our members. Unbelievable. It's not just once in a blue moon either. It's every freakin day!

[Imp]

[quote name='BNich0622' timestamp='1358484309' post='6250581']
Working in a golf shop at a private country club, you won't believe some of the calls we receive from our members. Unbelievable. It's not just once in a blue moon either. It's every freakin day!
[/quote]ANd this thread is for you to share them

[gr00vetech]

Member calling from his house on the 14th hole.

Hi...are the phones working down there?
Staff...I'm not sure. Give us a call back in 10-15 mins and we'll see.

Member...ok sounds good