Dealing with an Angry Golf Buddy??

[Barnacle]

[quote name='gmangolf' timestamp='1372096764' post='7314234']
So instead of dealing with it head on and asking him to tone it down, you are going to contribute to the issue by going out multiple times without him? Talk about fueling the fire.

When someone behaves badly, someone needs to step in and act like an adult. Acting like an adult isn't taking your ball and going home (or in this case taking your clubs and heading to the course by yourself) its being a good enough friend to deal with it head on.
[/quote]

In this case it has already been mentioned. We are past the point of telling him he needs to chill. Its definitely to the point of tough love. "if you can't play nice with your friends, then you can't play with them." type of thing. What fire am I fueling exactly? His issues reside on the course between him and himself.

[Barnacle]

[quote name='Swoosh-Thud' timestamp='1372096880' post='7314248']
Unlike other posters I don't live in a glass house..........and wouldn't want to be judged by anyone who has not walked in my shoes.

It's not about golf.

He needs for you to be a friend.
[/quote]

I agree, but I think at this point we will stay friends if we don't golf together at this particular point.

[KYMAR]

[quote name='Barnacle' timestamp='1372096379' post='7314200']
[quote name='KYMAR' timestamp='1372095699' post='7314110']
[quote name='Barnacle' timestamp='1372094381' post='7313934']
[quote name='ctmason_98' timestamp='1372093520' post='7313818']
1) Don't play golf with him any more.
2) Don't live with him any more.


[/quote]
That is going to happen, at least for a little while.
Lease is up in March, That won't work..



[quote]Make it a good time to talk. That's like waiting for the perfect moment to ask your boss for a raise... there isn't one. Just gotta pull up your big boy pants and have the talk.
It sounds like you are both in your 20's and still have some growing to do but the best thing you can do with him is just be honest. After that play the hand your dealt. If you just start going and playing without him and don't have a talk and give him a chance to better himself first than you might turn a shaky friendship/living situation into a worse one.

*Or if you don't care to spend the time and effort in making things better than follow the information from the poster above me. I don't think that's what you want though or else you wouldn't take the time to ask a public forum for advice.[/quote]


Guys I am not looking for the perfect time to talk to him. I think waiting until he asks why he isn't invited out anymore is as good as it will get. Its really a non issue off the course. To me its not worth the aggravation of say bringing it up out of the blue over spaghetti. [quote name='braby33' timestamp='1372093997' post='7313892']
Is it maybe the stress of trying to play up to his perception of his father's expectations that is causing his game to fall apart?
[/quote]

His dad is an exceptional golfer +1 handicap generally. But his dad also didn't start playing until he was 21 and didn't get that good until his 30's. He doesn't expect perfection from my friend because he knows it would be unreasonable to do so.
[/quote]

Just so i understand, You came in asking for advice on how to handle your angry, club tossing, red assed friend because you have a regular 4some with you 2 and your dads. You have heard poster after poster tell you that in order to fix this, you have to talk to him about it. You've decided the best thing to do is let this linger, say nothing and continue to golf without him? Of all the options on the table, this is the worst possible one you can choose, This comes from experience. You are INVITING this cloud to hang over you by remaining silent, In this desire to keep the peace in the living situation, you are merely adding spices to the S*** soup he's making and letting it simmer. you don't think he's gonna notice you're playing without him? You don't think he's gonna get a little pissed that you never invite him? You don't think you're going to notice that he is getting pissed? You don't think that, following the flow of where this is going, you aren't inevitably going to start to try to hide the fact that you're playing without him?

This "wait for him to say something" plan IS A DISASTER. All you're doing is bringing stress to yourself, and bitterness to him. So man up, maybe take him to the range, or go have a beer, and spit it out. You don't have to be a jerk to effectively communicate how serious you are about this. "dude, listen, your little outbursts and club tossing? Seriously, it's got to stop man it really makes it hard for the rest of us to even enjoy playing with you and if it doesn't stop I'm not going to" Once you've done that, the ENTIRE onus is on him. The next time you play he has to behave properly and if not, then there will be no need to hide or even worry about golfing without him. He has been warned. twice.
[/quote]

You are doing exactly what he does. Taking golf to seriously. I am pretty laid back overall, I won't be stressed playing without him waiting for him to either A) figure it out or B) say something so I can explain it to him. Why would I compromise the living situation for a golf game? The people that suggested to stop playing with him and if he questions it then explain why, have the easiest and least confrontational way to do this. If I didn't live with him it would be different. I would tell him right away.
[/quote]

Im "taking golf to seriously?" My advice has nothing to do with golf really at all. It has to do with knowing how this is going to turn out down the line when you go with the silent treatment route. And when you say it would be different if you didn't live in the same house you're saying this idea to say nothing is in fact for fear of confrontation. Thats weak

[esketores]

Does his fiancé know what kind of ****** he becomes when things are not going his way and the stress from poor performance changes his demeanor in a negative manor?
I hope so. Because there's good chance his marriage is doomed before it begins.
He might has well start anger management classes sooner rather than later.
The Bob Rotella suggestion given in conjunction with a heart to heart would be doing the fellow a favor. Because if the light bulb does not go off after that... he is a lost cause for a golfing companion. And that is what friends are for... to be honest. If honesty destroys a friendship then you were never really friends in the first place.

[Pepperturbo]

[quote name='gmangolf' timestamp='1372096764' post='7314234']
So instead of dealing with it head on and asking him to tone it down, you are going to contribute to the issue by going out multiple times without him? Talk about fueling the fire.

When someone behaves badly, someone needs to step in and act like an adult. Acting like an adult isn't taking your ball and going home (or in this case taking your clubs and heading to the course by yourself) its being a good enough friend to deal with it head on.
[/quote]

I have enough psychology and behavior training and experience to know the OP's choice in no way contributes to the issue, as it's NOT his issue, nor his responsibility to change another's behavior or lead an intervention. Its important to know where the boundaries are and when it's appropriate to cross them. Confrontation, under different circumstances might be appropriate, but living with him, is a recipe for making living conditions for all four people unhappy, besides the greater priority is living conditions for four people, not playing golf.

As long as his outbursts are not happening at home, not playing golf with him is the best choice, least till living conditions change. If the guy in question has half a brain, there will come a time when he will question why, and will probably ask what's up. That's when he can speak his mind.

[gmangolf]

[quote name='Barnacle' timestamp='1372097018' post='7314266']
[quote name='gmangolf' timestamp='1372096764' post='7314234']
So instead of dealing with it head on and asking him to tone it down, you are going to contribute to the issue by going out multiple times without him? Talk about fueling the fire.

When someone behaves badly, someone needs to step in and act like an adult. Acting like an adult isn't taking your ball and going home (or in this case taking your clubs and heading to the course by yourself) its being a good enough friend to deal with it head on.
[/quote]

In this case it has already been mentioned. We are past the point of telling him he needs to chill. Its definitely to the point of tough love. "if you can't play nice with your friends, then you can't play with them." type of thing. What fire am I fueling exactly? His issues reside on the course between him and himself.
[/quote]

"Sneaking" off to play without him won't bring levity to the situation. It won't help you two work out your golf issues and when he finds out, it won't help the living situation either, it'll only make it more volatile.

Tell him you are playing by yourself until he learns to cool it on the course. This shouldn't be a surprise if he has already admitted he has a problem.

[Barnacle]

[quote name='Pepperturbo' timestamp='1372097805' post='7314400']
[quote name='gmangolf' timestamp='1372096764' post='7314234']
So instead of dealing with it head on and asking him to tone it down, you are going to contribute to the issue by going out multiple times without him? Talk about fueling the fire.

When someone behaves badly, someone needs to step in and act like an adult. Acting like an adult isn't taking your ball and going home (or in this case taking your clubs and heading to the course by yourself) its being a good enough friend to deal with it head on.
[/quote]

I have enough psychology and behavior training and experience to know the OP's choice in no way contributes to the issue, as it's NOT his issue, nor his responsibility to change another's behavior or lead an intervention. Its important to know where the boundaries are and when it's appropriate to cross them. Confrontation, under different circumstances might be appropriate, but living with him, is a recipe for making living conditions for all four people unhappy, besides the greater priority is living conditions for four people, not playing golf.

As long as his outbursts are not happening at home, not playing golf with him is the best choice, least till living conditions change. If the guy in question has half a brain, there will come a time when he will question why, and will probably ask what's up.
[/quote]

I was just about to post something along these lines. While all of us get into disagreements from time to time they are nowhere near to what happens on the golf course. No reason to invite possible confrontation for all 4 people when there is a chance it can be avoided all together.

[gmangolf]

[quote name='Pepperturbo' timestamp='1372097805' post='7314400']
[quote name='gmangolf' timestamp='1372096764' post='7314234']
So instead of dealing with it head on and asking him to tone it down, you are going to contribute to the issue by going out multiple times without him? Talk about fueling the fire.

When someone behaves badly, someone needs to step in and act like an adult. Acting like an adult isn't taking your ball and going home (or in this case taking your clubs and heading to the course by yourself) its being a good enough friend to deal with it head on.
[/quote]

I have enough psychology and behavior training and experience to know the OP's choice in no way contributes to the issue, as it's NOT his issue, nor his responsibility to change another's behavior or lead an intervention. Its important to know where the boundaries are and when it's appropriate to cross them. Confrontation, under different circumstances might be appropriate, but living with him, is a recipe for making living conditions for all four people unhappy, besides the greater priority is living conditions for four people, not playing golf.

As long as his outbursts are not happening at home, not playing golf with him is the best choice, least till living conditions change. If the guy in question has half a brain, there will come a time when he will question why, and will probably ask what's up. That's when he can speak his mind.
[/quote]

I'm not suggesting this guy's outbursts are related to the OP and agree that not playing with him is the best course of action.

But I'd expect my friends tell me what was up... not just wait for me to figure it out. Feels like you are going behind his back.

[Barnacle]

[quote name='gmangolf' timestamp='1372097864' post='7314418']
[quote name='Barnacle' timestamp='1372097018' post='7314266']
[quote name='gmangolf' timestamp='1372096764' post='7314234']
So instead of dealing with it head on and asking him to tone it down, you are going to contribute to the issue by going out multiple times without him? Talk about fueling the fire.

When someone behaves badly, someone needs to step in and act like an adult. Acting like an adult isn't taking your ball and going home (or in this case taking your clubs and heading to the course by yourself) its being a good enough friend to deal with it head on.
[/quote]

In this case it has already been mentioned. We are past the point of telling him he needs to chill. Its definitely to the point of tough love. "if you can't play nice with your friends, then you can't play with them." type of thing. What fire am I fueling exactly? His issues reside on the course between him and himself.
[/quote]

"Sneaking" off to play without him won't bring levity to the situation. It won't help you two work out your golf issues and when he finds out, it won't help the living situation either, it'll only make it more volatile.

Tell him you are playing by yourself until he learns to cool it on the course. This shouldn't be a surprise if he has already admitted he has a problem.
[/quote]

When did I say I was going to sneak off? Its not like I will be getting ready in the dead of night to run off to the course before he wakes up in the morning. I think it will be pretty obvious I am going golfing on the days I do go. And if he asks if I am I'm not going to lie to him. I know he has a few other people that he can play with that are significantly worse than he is (just starting out). He can still play with them.

[Pepperturbo]

[quote name='gmangolf' timestamp='1372098064' post='7314442']
[quote name='Pepperturbo' timestamp='1372097805' post='7314400']
[quote name='gmangolf' timestamp='1372096764' post='7314234']
So instead of dealing with it head on and asking him to tone it down, you are going to contribute to the issue by going out multiple times without him? Talk about fueling the fire.

When someone behaves badly, someone needs to step in and act like an adult. Acting like an adult isn't taking your ball and going home (or in this case taking your clubs and heading to the course by yourself) its being a good enough friend to deal with it head on.
[/quote]

I have enough psychology and behavior training and experience to know the OP's choice in no way contributes to the issue, as it's NOT his issue, nor his responsibility to change another's behavior or lead an intervention. Its important to know where the boundaries are and when it's appropriate to cross them. Confrontation, under different circumstances might be appropriate, but living with him, is a recipe for making living conditions for all four people unhappy, besides the greater priority is living conditions for four people, not playing golf.

As long as his outbursts are not happening at home, not playing golf with him is the best choice, least till living conditions change. If the guy in question has half a brain, there will come a time when he will question why, and will probably ask what's up. That's when he can speak his mind.
[/quote]

I'm not suggesting this guy's outbursts are related to the OP and agree that not playing with him is the best course of action.

But I'd expect my friends tell me what was up... not just wait for me to figure it out. Feels like you are going behind his back.
[/quote]

I agree, except, how you and I feel or behave is not relateable to the person the OP talks about. The way I behave has little or no bearing on someone that loses control. As I understand this, the OP and his GF live with the guy in question and his GL; that changes the dynamics. Home stability is far more important than what happens on the golf course. If the guy in question thinks someone is going behind his back, that shows lack of self-awareness, which is tied into his outbursts and possible reason telling him at the wrong time would create other problems at home.

This situation is way different than when a friend of mine had a few outbursts on the golf course. The second one was so bad, I told him I didn't need that crap or think it was appropriate, and so walked off the course on 10, and left him to play by himself. He got the point.

[gmangolf]

[quote name='Pepperturbo' timestamp='1372098458' post='7314472']
[quote name='gmangolf' timestamp='1372098064' post='7314442']
[quote name='Pepperturbo' timestamp='1372097805' post='7314400']
[quote name='gmangolf' timestamp='1372096764' post='7314234']
So instead of dealing with it head on and asking him to tone it down, you are going to contribute to the issue by going out multiple times without him? Talk about fueling the fire.

When someone behaves badly, someone needs to step in and act like an adult. Acting like an adult isn't taking your ball and going home (or in this case taking your clubs and heading to the course by yourself) its being a good enough friend to deal with it head on.
[/quote]

I have enough psychology and behavior training and experience to know the OP's choice in no way contributes to the issue, as it's NOT his issue, nor his responsibility to change another's behavior or lead an intervention. Its important to know where the boundaries are and when it's appropriate to cross them. Confrontation, under different circumstances might be appropriate, but living with him, is a recipe for making living conditions for all four people unhappy, besides the greater priority is living conditions for four people, not playing golf.

As long as his outbursts are not happening at home, not playing golf with him is the best choice, least till living conditions change. If the guy in question has half a brain, there will come a time when he will question why, and will probably ask what's up. That's when he can speak his mind.
[/quote]

I'm not suggesting this guy's outbursts are related to the OP and agree that not playing with him is the best course of action.

But I'd expect my friends tell me what was up... not just wait for me to figure it out. Feels like you are going behind his back.
[/quote]

I agree, except, how you and I feel or behave is not relateable to the person the OP talks about. The way I behave has little or no bearing on someone that loses control. As I understand this, the OP and his GF live with the guy in question and his GL; that changes the dynamics. Home stability is far more important than what happens on the golf course. If the guy in question thinks someone is going behind his back, that shows lack of self-awareness, which is tied into his outbursts and possible reason telling him at the wrong time would create other problems at home.

This situation is way different than when a friend of mine had a few outbursts on the golf course. The second one was so bad, I told him I didn't need that crap or think it was appropriate, and so walked off the course on 10, and left him to play by himself. He got the point.
[/quote]

I'm sure its not the first or the last time I'll give bad advice. I guess all I'm saying is that if I did something bad enough that a friend of mine was going to exclude from one of our favorite activities... I'd really hope he'd tell me rather than just letting me figure it out.

[mshills]

C'mon man, this is simple.

It does not matter that he hits great shots on the range, that he just bought new clubs, that his pop is a good player, that his expectations don't match reality, or any of the other reasons you've listed that you think might contribute to him going off on the course.

Why he's doing it is of no concern to you. It's his fault and his problem. Not yours. Don't make it your problem. Tell him that golf course anger sucks. Tell him you don't get to play as often as you'd like and you damn sure don't get to play with your dad as much as you'd want. Tell him that when you do get the chance to play, you're determined to enjoy yourself, and that does not include a playing partner having a tantrum. Period.

Simple situation. Don't make it complicated.

[Barnacle]

[quote name='gmangolf' timestamp='1372099493' post='7314588']
[quote name='Pepperturbo' timestamp='1372098458' post='7314472']
[quote name='gmangolf' timestamp='1372098064' post='7314442']
[quote name='Pepperturbo' timestamp='1372097805' post='7314400']
[quote name='gmangolf' timestamp='1372096764' post='7314234']
So instead of dealing with it head on and asking him to tone it down, you are going to contribute to the issue by going out multiple times without him? Talk about fueling the fire.

When someone behaves badly, someone needs to step in and act like an adult. Acting like an adult isn't taking your ball and going home (or in this case taking your clubs and heading to the course by yourself) its being a good enough friend to deal with it head on.
[/quote]

I have enough psychology and behavior training and experience to know the OP's choice in no way contributes to the issue, as it's NOT his issue, nor his responsibility to change another's behavior or lead an intervention. Its important to know where the boundaries are and when it's appropriate to cross them. Confrontation, under different circumstances might be appropriate, but living with him, is a recipe for making living conditions for all four people unhappy, besides the greater priority is living conditions for four people, not playing golf.

As long as his outbursts are not happening at home, not playing golf with him is the best choice, least till living conditions change. If the guy in question has half a brain, there will come a time when he will question why, and will probably ask what's up. That's when he can speak his mind.
[/quote]

I'm not suggesting this guy's outbursts are related to the OP and agree that not playing with him is the best course of action.

But I'd expect my friends tell me what was up... not just wait for me to figure it out. Feels like you are going behind his back.
[/quote]

I agree, except, how you and I feel or behave is not relateable to the person the OP talks about. The way I behave has little or no bearing on someone that loses control. As I understand this, the OP and his GF live with the guy in question and his GL; that changes the dynamics. Home stability is far more important than what happens on the golf course. If the guy in question thinks someone is going behind his back, that shows lack of self-awareness, which is tied into his outbursts and possible reason telling him at the wrong time would create other problems at home.

This situation is way different than when a friend of mine had a few outbursts on the golf course. The second one was so bad, I told him I didn't need that crap or think it was appropriate, and so walked off the course on 10, and left him to play by himself. He got the point.
[/quote]

I'm sure its not the first or the last time I'll give bad advice. I guess all I'm saying is that if I did something bad enough that a friend of mine was going to exclude from one of our favorite activities... I'd really hope he'd tell me rather than just letting me figure it out.
[/quote]

Honestly for most people this is exactly what is needed. When I do something wrong I expect people to tell me. My GF does a magnificent job of this . Unfortunately my friend is not that kind of guy

[ljp3]

[quote name='TJCDAS' timestamp='1372089384' post='7313260']
People don't change--just don't golf with him.
[/quote]

I am hoping you are wrong. I have a buddy that gets angry and frustrated but this year he has made an effort to not let that happen, only played 4 rounds with him but it is much better.

[Pepperturbo]

[quote name='gmangolf' timestamp='1372099493' post='7314588']
[quote name='Pepperturbo' timestamp='1372098458' post='7314472']
[quote name='gmangolf' timestamp='1372098064' post='7314442']
[quote name='Pepperturbo' timestamp='1372097805' post='7314400']
[quote name='gmangolf' timestamp='1372096764' post='7314234']
So instead of dealing with it head on and asking him to tone it down, you are going to contribute to the issue by going out multiple times without him? Talk about fueling the fire.

When someone behaves badly, someone needs to step in and act like an adult. Acting like an adult isn't taking your ball and going home (or in this case taking your clubs and heading to the course by yourself) its being a good enough friend to deal with it head on.
[/quote]

I have enough psychology and behavior training and experience to know the OP's choice in no way contributes to the issue, as it's NOT his issue, nor his responsibility to change another's behavior or lead an intervention. Its important to know where the boundaries are and when it's appropriate to cross them. Confrontation, under different circumstances might be appropriate, but living with him, is a recipe for making living conditions for all four people unhappy, besides the greater priority is living conditions for four people, not playing golf.

As long as his outbursts are not happening at home, not playing golf with him is the best choice, least till living conditions change. If the guy in question has half a brain, there will come a time when he will question why, and will probably ask what's up. That's when he can speak his mind.
[/quote]

I'm not suggesting this guy's outbursts are related to the OP and agree that not playing with him is the best course of action.

But I'd expect my friends tell me what was up... not just wait for me to figure it out. Feels like you are going behind his back.
[/quote]

I agree, except, how you and I feel or behave is not relateable to the person the OP talks about. The way I behave has little or no bearing on someone that loses control. As I understand this, the OP and his GF live with the guy in question and his GL; that changes the dynamics. Home stability is far more important than what happens on the golf course. If the guy in question thinks someone is going behind his back, that shows lack of self-awareness, which is tied into his outbursts and possible reason telling him at the wrong time would create other problems at home.

This situation is way different than when a friend of mine had a few outbursts on the golf course. The second one was so bad, I told him I didn't need that crap or think it was appropriate, and so walked off the course on 10, and left him to play by himself. He got the point.
[/quote]

I'm sure its not the first or the last time I'll give bad advice. I guess all I'm saying is that if I did something bad enough that a friend of mine was going to exclude from one of our favorite activities... I'd really hope he'd tell me rather than just letting me figure it out.
[/quote]

I said I agree, but we're not talking about what you would want. We're talking about someone else with behavior problems, plus conditions are very different.

[HiSpeed48]

So you told him he has a problem but he still continues to flip out? I think it's time to just tell him flat out that you won't play with him until he changes his attitude. Then hopefully he will realize this is serious and will try to change.

[SparkyC]

Kick him in the sack, that will shut him up.

[Barnacle]

[quote name='SparkyC' timestamp='1372100807' post='7314746']
Kick him in the sack, that will shut him up.
[/quote]

Best advice so far hahahaha

[Shiram]

His own dad doesn't want to play with him again? I would think he'd say something to him...

The only thing you can do is be open and honest about it. Before you play with him again say something. I would suggest saying something while on the course... but it is really hard to talk to guys when they are in the middle of throwing a temper tantrum.

[Barnacle]

[quote name='Shiram' timestamp='1372101441' post='7314828']
His own dad doesn't want to play with him again? I would think he'd say something to him...

The only thing you can do is be open and honest about it. Before you play with him again say something. I would suggest saying something while on the course... but it is really hard to talk to guys when they are in the middle of throwing a temper tantrum.
[/quote]

After I talked to his dad (it was just us 3 this time, my dad hurt his back at work unfortunately) I got the impression that he was going to say something. I know they went over to his parents house last night but I don't know if anything was said.

[thug the bunny]

OP, your buddy sounds like my son, but my son has the excuse of being a teenager who has yet to learn the art of self control. My son has been playing only 3 yrs but he made the HS team so he has (unrealistic) high expectations plus the pressure of having to perform. Nevertheless, his behavior on the course was unacceptable - smashing his (my) clubs into the ground, sulking, not talking to anyone...it was embarrasing playing with other people. He actually broke my driver shaft and 5w shaft, both when I was not playing with him, and claimed that the driver just snapped when he hit a ball, and the 5w shaft (get this!....) just broke in his bag somehow. I called out his BS saying I have been playing 25 yrs and have not broken one shaft, and told him he had better stop or I would take his (my) clubs back and cancel our CC membership. He finally grew up some and not only does he just suck it up and fight through it when he has a bad round, but he actually has less bad rounds now.

[sbjinx]

that sucks, i have buddy who is like the OP's buddy, always throwing stuff, bad mood, etc. I called him out on it and while he's improved, he still has his outbursts every once in a while.

if he's really a good friend, call him out. if not, leave him be and dont play with him. he'll figure it out eventually

[ctmason_98]

[quote name='thug the bunny' timestamp='1372101913' post='7314894']
OP, your buddy sounds like my son, but my son has the excuse of being a teenager who has yet to learn the art of self control. My son has been playing only 3 yrs but he made the HS team so he has (unrealistic) high expectations plus the pressure of having to perform. Nevertheless, his behavior on the course was unacceptable - smashing his (my) clubs into the ground, sulking, not talking to anyone...it was embarrasing playing with other people. He actually broke my driver shaft and 5w shaft, both when I was not playing with him, and claimed that the driver just snapped when he hit a ball, and the 5w shaft (get this!....) just broke in his bag somehow. I called out his BS saying I have been playing 25 yrs and have not broken one shaft, and told him he had better stop or I would take his (my) clubs back and cancel our CC membership. He finally grew up some and not only does he just suck it up and fight through it when he has a bad round, but he actually has less bad rounds now.
[/quote]

Who knows what the future holds, but my wife and I both agreed that if we ever saw our son (who is little) display that type of behavior playing golf the round was through, right then. No exceptions. If he plays for high school or in a junior tournament, we would ask that he be DQ'ed immediately. Pattern continues, he's not playing anymore.

I played other sports as a kid and my attitude was horrible, I honestly wish my parents had just put a stop to it, but ultimately it was my responsibility.

[MaybeImLeftHanded]

He's a tool, stop golfing with him.

[zer0]

I don't see what the problem is here. If you've been friends with the guy a long time like you say then just tell him to stop acting like a douchebag or else you're not going to play with him anymore. How hard is that?

[Soloman1]

I don't understand the thinking that people are obligated to tell others how to live their lives, or that doing that is "being a friend."

I'm sorry, I didn't read all of the posts in this thread, but it seems very clear that the poster doesn't enjoy playing with his juvenile-acting roommate. I think the answer is already in the first post - just say no to playing with him and go play with other people. You don't have any obligation to say anything other than that. You aren't his family or a parent.

Life is short; play golf in circumstances you enjoy.

[topperharley]

[quote name='Soloman1' timestamp='1372120876' post='7316910']I don't understand the thinking that people are obligated to tell others how to live their lives, or that doing that is "being a friend."[/quote]

Well, there was this:

[quote name='Barnacle' timestamp='1372088341' post='7313106']Any and all suggestions, or questions welcome.[/quote]

[SatelliteGuy]

I got a buddy like this... Smacks his clubs around.. ( he's down a 6 and a 8 because of broken shafts )... Sulks in the golf cart... Refuses to speak to anyone...


Here's what I did... I kicked his crybaby keister all over the golf course for two years without having a decent conversation... Took money from him... Just basically killed him every time we played together... This was literally my goal... No scoring goals... No nothing.., just one stroke better than him.. After two years...


He doesn't want to play with me anymore... And I get to tell the rest of our buddies it's because he sucks... He can't handle the pressure... He's weak minded... He's a giant crybaby... And the truth of the matter is... He just hates to lose and won't play with someone he can't best anymore... Ever... Not once... It's not even close...

Moral of the story... If your friend is so competitive he lies, cheats, behaves poorly.... The simple truth is that he is probably going to continue being that way unless you tell him to knock it off and stop acting like some crybaby puss bag who can't handle a game... None the less life...

Or just whoop his butt into quitting... I like my way better... But it's not the better way.... Just far more fun during and after...

I think I'm a little bit of an a-hole.

[jdmorris1980]

Sounds like a mommas boy, and his dad should have whipped his a$$ when he was younger and all 3 of you would not be dealing with this situation currently. But there is a pattern, his dad is afraid to confront him and so are you. WHY? Until he sees that there are consequences to his actions (not playing with you and losing that connection as "golfing buddy" and having to try to find someone else to put up with him) nothing is going to change. Life is tough, not everything is gonna be non-confrontational, but a persons actions are their responsibilty and if he cant control his self, then why should you burden yourself with him on the course? It is definitely time for his dad to step up and to straighten him out. I wouldnt want my legacy to be the type of fool you describe.

[Kaysquare]

Jeez, after reading all these comments, I'm glad I play golf with mostly women. I can honestly say I've never see a woman throw clubs......maybe drop a club after a bad shot, but not just hurl a club into the air, not caring where it goes. We'll drop an F-bomb now & then, when a particularly bad shot deserves one (and yes, there are some shots that definitely do deserve a well-placed F-bomb). :-)