Most ridiculous thing heard on the range

[tannyhoban]

I was the only one at our local range today. Hit a large bucket, so was there for awhile. Never has happened before for an entire bucket, usually a couple of the regulars show up no matter what. Range is stalls with mats and they are heated. Thirty four degrees and spitting snow but still.

It was awesome and weird the same time.

Got to thinking maybe I'm ridiculous.

[hoselpalooza]

this comment is ridiculous. can you not imagine how learning to hit the ball lower is beneficial for ball-striking? e.g. shorter swing. smoother swing. better tempo. and so forth.

[Sean2]

That happens to me once in a while. I enjoy the quiet and the solitude. :-)

[hoselpalooza]

perhaps this guy was trying some crazy complicated method to flight the ball -- is that what you meant to say?

you can flight the ball by literally making the same swing, just a bit slower. and if you really want to get it down just use more club with a really easy tempo. unless you misspoke or left out details, it's not like the guy was trying to learn a flop shot or a stinger, right? just "easy breezy". players of all levels can benefit from making smoother/slower swings to warm up on the range before events. it's smart to focus on tempo when things get nervy. as a side benefit, those slower tempo swings will generate less spin and height and will help keep the ball below the wind.

[Boney]

"Golf is supposed to be relaxing." -- by a high-school age beginner

[smashdn]

I didn't hear it, I felt it. Guy wedged in behind me the other day close enough I could feel him fatting his shots through the ground into my feet. There was a good 30 feet from me to the end of the range he could have went to. Made me very conscious of my backswing after that.

 

There is a also a whole family of people using the range now. It is a family event. Three kids hitting balls, sometimes the dad or uncle, dad giving instruction standing face on and mom and younger kids with lawn chairs. They've got every right to be there but the range is pretty small so the extra folks at times keep people from getting a bucket before their round (or it causes guys to get too close as evidenced above).

[longevi]

yooo, that's too funny :D all of the abovee

[jrice19]

I love reading these stories. Keep them coming.

Thanks,

Jeff

[BdaGolfer]

"Keep your body tight, and don't move your legs until the downswing." The father did this, had to be seen to be believed, and thought his son should do it too.

[Boney]

*THWAK*

I was practicing with a beginner buddy, aiming at a 3' plywood circle 90 yards out. I tried to hit it about 30 times, some looked SO CLOSE, one bounced just under and clattered around, one bounced in front and into it (doesn't count), a few just over. Down to my last ball. I say, "last chance." He makes some crowd noises. *THWAK* right in the center of the sign. Last ball. What are the odds? Ridiculous. It would be so fake if only it weren't true.

[Moonlightgrm]

I just read the most ridiculous thing in golf. A poster is talking about his net club championship. What? A net “club champion”.

 

A: Meet our club champion.

B: He must be quite a player.

A: Not really. He’s a 24-handicap but he shot a couple of 90s to take our title. We play a net club championship. ?

Edited August 22, 2020 by Moonlightgrm
Typo

[Loomis13]

1 hour ago, Moonlightgrm said:

I just read the most ridiculous thing in golf. A poster is talking about his net club championship. What? A net “club champion”.

 

A: Meet our club champion.

B: He must be quite a player.

A: Not really. He’s a 24-handicap but he shot a couple of 90s to take our title. We play a net club championship. ?

At our course we have different divisions. You can play in the open (or not handicapped) or the handicapped division. Gives everyone a chance to play for something.

[lookylookitzadam]

6 hours ago, Moonlightgrm said:

I just read the most ridiculous thing in golf. A poster is talking about his net club championship. What? A net “club champion”.

 

A: Meet our club champion.

B: He must be quite a player.

A: Not really. He’s a 24-handicap but he shot a couple of 90s to take our title. We play a net club championship. ?

When I first joined my club there was a men’s group who I would hear talking about how they shot in the 60s. I thought this group of guys were just amazing players but after being behind them and forced to watch them golf a couple weeks later, I realized they tell people their net scores when asked how they shot...I guess it’s better than talking about your 95 at the bar. 

[Jtgavigan]

Not sure this really qualifies, but this is one of the most unforgettable rounds I have had and what the guy said at the end just bumfuzzled me.

 

So, maybe 10 or 15 years ago, I would often go to a course 5 minutes from my house on a Saturday or Sunday at the last minute (with permission from the wife, as we had small kids at the time). I would have them pair me up with anyone. I met some great folks that way and almost always enjoyed meeting new people. 

 

I am a low single digit guy and have been playing 38 years, so I have seen a lot. Played with better players and lots of much worse players. As long as you keep up, and play at a reasonable pace, I am good.

 

So, I show up at the range and look up and down to guess who I might play with and I see this guy....

 

Um....well, he stands with this really wide stance, arms straight and stiff, swings it back about shoulder high, swings down and hits about 3 inches behind the ball, but on his follow through, he literally lifts his back foot off the ground and does a little spin on his front foot. I watched him a few minutes, marvelling at his complete ineptitude. I have seen some bad moves, but... So, I am thinking "just not HIM."

 

Well, you can guess it, him....

 

Just me.....

 

and him....

 

1st hole is 422 from the back tees. I hit a nice little drive out there about 360 (kidding, maybe 275-280) and this dude wanted to play from the back tees like me. Uh, no buddy, play the whites up there, so it is maybe 380 from there. He proceeds to take THIRTEEN shots to get to the green. 13. After 3 torturous hours of this, I was gonna quit at 9 if he didn't,  but he mercifully stopped. He comes over to shake my hand and says "enjoyed it!" And actually sounded serious. (He really seemed like a nice guy and I felt bad for him, because he was easily THE worst golfer I have ever seen).

 

I told him that it wasn't enjoyable from the other side, and he seriously needed a few lessons before he got out there again. He would enjoy it more, as would his playing partners. I really am not sure if he had even picked up a club before that day, because he didn't really know anything. I hated to be brutally honest, but literally, I don't think he hit a shot more than 75 yards all day and I am not sure if he broke 80 for 9. I still can't believe he actually said "enjoyed it!"

 

Never have seen anything like it before or since.

[Justsomeguy]

At range today. Two early 30s dudes pull up in the stall behind me. Crowded day so normal move. They take turns hitting one guy's clubs while they wait for another stall to open up.

Guy whose bag it is is kinda bragging on his equipment, at some point loudly proclaims that, "when you pay 3 grand for clubs..." And I can't really remember the conclusion. I glanced at the bag, and its contente didn't look particularly new or expensive.

There were more comments on shaft and this and that re the equipment, but it didn't seem to phase him that every iron was a fat mat slide, and the drivers were push slices under 200.

[Jtgavigan]

I actually remember something from a few weeks ago. My friend John and I met up at the range. I built some clubs for him and then sent him to a pro, because he has this really upright backswing/over the top downswing which is going to need some fixing before he really enjoys the clubs. Although I am a good player, I am a HORRIBLE teacher.

 

There is this guy maybe in his mid 50s beating balls next to us (2 large buckets' worth). I hear him take a phone call and he walks away, but his voice carries so much, we can hear that he has been served some kind of legal papers. Makes a remark that his wife was freaking out about it. As a matter of fact, she calls him a few times basically wondering why he was "playing golf" instead of dealing with the issue. He was maybe a bucket in during one of the calls and tells his wife: "I'm not playing golf, I am just hitting balls and will be home in a about 20 minutes." (More like an hour buddy)

 

Anyway, we all somehow strike up a conversation and we talk about how my friend John is coming over the top and was hitting a lot of pull hooks and a few slices. This dude makes the remark that you can only hit hooks if you come inside out on the downswing.

 

I explained that if the club face is closed to swing path, then you will hit a hook, period. He tries to argue. So, I finally tell him to stand behind me. I aim at a flag in about the middle of the range and get him to agree I was lined up there. I tell him that I am going to hook one over to the right rough of #1, about 60 yards left of my aim point with a 7 iron.

 

I proceed to hood the club, then come over it as much as I could and shut my hands as hard as possible. The ball starts 30 yards left and dives left at least another 30 into the rough on 1. I show him the divot and ask him if I was inside out on that one? I then go in to explain/demonstrate how to draw/fade a ball and why it does each (there are some great YouTube videos on this, which has helped me finally do this with some real control after 38 years. Thank you YouTube). He basically discredits a lot of what I say and tells us why he is doing this or that when he hits a crappy one. It was clear he hadn't taken many, if any, lessons and likely wouldn't listen if he did.

 

I finally just had to stop talking to him. Just gotta love these "know it all" 90s shooters.

[GolfTurkey]

On 4/16/2019 at 12:24 PM, capnstabn said:

> @boxerjoe2011 said:

> I once heard a wife tell her husband something pornographic thinking people were out of earshot. I was not. Haha. It was spectacular.

 

Ah, the joys of being newlywed...

[rmiller_ny]

"I wish I brought my low bounce wedge" 

... While hitting off mats

[xkilgorextroutx]

On 8/22/2020 at 10:23 PM, Justsomeguy said:

At range today. Two early 30s dudes pull up in the stall behind me. Crowded day so normal move. They take turns hitting one guy's clubs while they wait for another stall to open up.

Guy whose bag it is is kinda bragging on his equipment, at some point loudly proclaims that, "when you pay 3 grand for clubs..." And I can't really remember the conclusion. I glanced at the bag, and its contente didn't look particularly new or expensive.

There were more comments on shaft and this and that re the equipment, but it didn't seem to phase him that every iron was a fat mat slide, and the drivers were push slices under 200.

 

Had an experience like this a little while ago. Two guys come over, dressed like pros and each carrying a staff bag. I'm not the greatest golfer, and I'm like "oh boy here we go" just waiting to hear the ball sizzling and watching majestic drives from these two. There's a pretty popular four ball a local private CC holds right around the time I was at the range, so I figured maybe these two were there to warm up for a practice round at that tourney.

 

Nope.

 

I've never seen so much sod flying further than the balls. They were thrilled if they hit their driver straight. I guess you can look good even if you can't play good...

[hoselpalooza]

today i saw a guy throw his club in disgust after hitting a bad shot. i've seen people accidentally let go of clubs but never throw a club at the range. super weird.

 

then he starts watching an instructional video on youtube with the audio playing on his bluetooth speaker for everyone to hear. i couldn't tell you what it was about since i was trying to tune him out, but whatever it was it certainly didn't help. 

 

finally, after duffing his last few remaining balls i heard him loudly shout to his playing partner:

 

"hey, can we not do bets today? i can't even hit the freaking ball!!!"

 

the funniest thing is before he put on the youtube video he was listening to some really chill R&B music. i think he would've been better off had he just kept that vibe going.

Edited August 30, 2020 by Buzzkill

[r0scoe]

On 4/8/2019 at 10:15 AM, Ferguson said:

I was at a small scramble tourney last fall standing with a few guys near people hitting balls on the range. We were about 15 feet from the tournament director. She was trying to get the attention of everyone. One of the guys in my foursome (Tim) has the best sense of humor. He is downright hilarious and the only reason I played in this event.

 

A guy with a foreign accent walks up to the director with microphone and asks to see the "GOLF ROSTER." She turns on the mic and starts paging "GOFF FROSTER." My buddy Tim walks up and says, "I'm Goff Froster, how can I help you?" She turns to the foreign accent guy and says, "this gentleman asked for you." He turns to the guy and says, "I'm Goff Froster, how can I help you?" The foreign accent guy was puzzled. This goes back and forth for a few minutes. I couldn't breathe I was laughing so hard.

This reminds me of the simpson's episode where Hugh Jazz actually comes to the phone...

[TCGolfer35]

Was hitting 80 yard wedges and guy says "man thats a great ball flight"

[Drudersh]

On 9/1/2021 at 9:41 AM, TCGolfer35 said:

Was hitting 80 yard wedges and guy says "man thats a great ball flight"

Not that outrageous. Even as a scratch golfer I'm super envious of the guys that can flight an 80 yard wedge shot low and have it bounce once and stop. For the life of me I can't hit that shot. 

[Ferguson]

I wasn't hitting, just there with my son.   A guy hitting pitching wedges uttering to his buddy after each shot, "sauce for the geese."  

My kid just shook his head.  

[jholz]

I feel like I have recounted this story in another thread, but it has to be one of the dumbest things I've ever heard, and I did happen to hear it on a driving range, so forgive me if I am repeating myself.

 

It was last summer when the COVID golf influx was at it's peak. A group of meatheads who clearly had never held a golf club before were banging away a few bays down from me. The odd decent shot was going to their heads and gradually the discussion turned to "I wonder what it takes to get on tour."

 

The consensus answer among the group was, astoundingly, the ability to walk 72 holes of golf - cause "pros don't get to use carts."

 

I guess all that time I've spent at the range and practice green was a total waste of time. Walking - that's the key. 

 

 

 

Edited September 8, 2021 by jholz

[caeye0710]

Any time I hear a father barking at his kid and giving "instruction" between hitting his own 185 yard slap fades off the bottom groove. 

[Neutral_Impact]

Heard a pro giving a lesson at the range say "I'm not too worried about your shots going left into the trees because at least you're flushing it"

[Jimjam651]

On 8/22/2020 at 4:12 PM, Moonlightgrm said:

I just read the most ridiculous thing in golf. A poster is talking about his net club championship. What? A net “club champion”.

 

A: Meet our club champion.

B: He must be quite a player.

A: Not really. He’s a 24-handicap but he shot a couple of 90s to take our title. We play a net club championship. ?

 

Do you guys get prize money (pro shop credit / vouchers) in America for winning club events 

 

We do in the UK... except at my club only the net winner of the club champs gets vouchers, the gross winner of the club champs doesn't get anything 😂

[Gsea]

1 hour ago, Jimjam651 said:

 

Do you guys get prize money (pro shop credit / vouchers) in America for winning club events 

 

We do in the UK... except at my club only the net winner of the club champs gets vouchers, the gross winner of the club champs doesn't get anything 😂

NET = not enough talent, club champion lol

[ShowMe]

My friend was taking a lesson several years ago at our course's range from the brother of a famous PGA Tour pro.  I was nearby practicing some chips.  

 

He asked my friend what his goals were.  My friend said he wanted to hit the ball further.  The guy said, "Just swing faster."  The look on my friends face...I just started laughing.  Couldn't stop.  Had to walk away.

 

Now when we play and he hits a short drive, I just tell him that he should have swung faster and ask him to pay me $100 for the lesson.